Second Chance at Childhood
by WinchesterGrl09
Summary: While exploring an unused lab Rodney has an encounter with an Ancient machine that turns him into a child. The only way to turn him back is for him to face his past, a past he didn't want anyone to know. Rodney whump. Mentions of child abuse. Team bonding
1. Chapter 1

First just want to say that this is my first Stargate Atlantis story. I have only just recently started watching the show but I can say that so far I am absolutely in love with it. I'm sorry for any glaring mistakes that are in here or if any characters are a little out of character. I tried my best, that's all I can say.

This story is set in early Season 3, so Carson is in it. Well I'll just stop talking now and get on with the story. Oh and I don't own anything and I'm not making any money from this story. Enjoy.

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"What was this lab used for anyway?" Colonel John Sheppard asked, looking around at the consoles that lined two of the four walls.

"I don't know. From what we've been able to glean from the database this place was used for some sort of therapy. Psychology I think." Doctor Rodney McKay answered, not looking up from his PC tablet.

"You think?" Ronon Dex asked, from where he stood near the door.

Rodney turned around and glared at him. "If I knew for sure then I would have said so. All I know for sure is that the therapy appears to work in stages."

He walked around a raised platform that sat in the center of the room. It must have been used in the therapy they did. He stepped onto, noticing that it was made up of a series of tiles and it had a series of markings surrounded the edge.

"What'd you find McKay?" asked John.

"There's an inscription around the edge. I can't read it. The symbols have been worn down." He ran his hand over them and suddenly the computers started to power up and the power readings started going through the roof.

"John what did you touch?" Rodney asked, panic rising in his voice.

"I didn't touch anything." he shouted back.

Rodney tried stepping off the platform but was stopped by a force field. He ran his hand over it, causing a rippling rainbow effect to spread across the surface. "This can't be good." was the last thing he said before the tiled floor lit up and a blinding while light filled the column made by the force field.

The other three were forced to look away the light was so bright. Suddenly a painful scream filled the air

"Rodney." yelled John.

As quick as the screaming started it suddenly stopped and the light slowly faded away. Once the three blinked spots out of their eyes and couldn't believe what they found themselves staring at. Where an adult Rodney once stood, there was now a small child laying unconscious on the platform in ill fitting clothes.

"Did I just see what I think I just saw?" John asked, looking at the now normal platform in shock.

"Yes I believe you just did." Teyla said.

"Is that…" Ronan asked as he crouched down to get a closer look at the small child that was lying unconscious.

John and Teyla crouched down next to him. John placed his fingers on Rodney's neck to check his pulse. It seemed to be a little fast but at least he had one.

"He's breathing but his pulse seems to be a little fast." he tapped his radio. "Beckett this is Sheppard. We need a med team down here in the lab we were looking at. McKay has had an accident."

"What kind of accident?" Carson asked.

John could here him barking orders to his nurses over the radio.

"What kind of accident Sheppard?" Carson asked again, his voice demanding an answer.

"I think you better see for yourself. You wouldn't believe me if I told you." John said.

"I'll be down quickly." Carson said before he turned his radio off.

John quickly radioed Elizabeth and Zelenka and told them to come down to the lab immediately and for Zelenka to bring a team with him.

The three took the time to closely examine the smaller version of Rodney. John figured that by his size he couldn't have been any older then seven or eight. The clothes he had been wearing had luckily shrunk with him, though they looked a little baggy on his thin form. He noticed changes in Rodney's physical appearance second. His once dark brown hair was now a dirty blonde and hung into his eyes. The sound of people running alerted him that help had come.

Carson came rushing in with a nurse, a stretcher between them. They stopped when they saw the small form lying on the raised platform.

"That's not Rodney. Is it?" Carson asked, not quiet believing what he was seeing.

John nodded, "Yeah Doc, its him. He stepped onto the platform, got engulfed in a bright light and then he was lying on the ground unconscious."

They moved out of his way and he quickly knelt down next to his friend and quickly assessed his condition. Carson quickly took his temperature, pulse and blood pressure. He was just finishing up when Elizabeth, Radek and his team cam rushing into the room.

"Before you ask, yes that is McKay." John said to them before they asked. "He stepped onto the platform, was surrounded by a bright light and then he was like this."

Elizabeth stared at him, "Colonel are you telling me that McKay has been turned into a child?"

"Yeah I am."

"Carson can you confirm this?" she asked the doctor, who was still checking over his friend.

"No, I'll have to run some blood tests and I want to put him under a scanner. But as far as I can tell, he seems to really be McKay." Carson said as he finished his quick exam. He pulled a blanket off of the gurney and wrapped Rodney up in it and carefully placed him on the gurney. "Lets hurry." They walked out of the room not waiting for any other questions. John, Teyla and Ronon followed closely behind him.

Elizabeth turned to Radek, " I want your team to search the room. Try and find anything you can about what this room was used for and how to reverse it. Look in any database you can think of. Radio when you find something."

She hurried out of the room, leaving Radek to figure out what had happened to Rodney. When she entered the infirmary she saw that Rodney had apparently woken up and he was now sitting on the edge of a bed, staring at the floor. Carson stood in front of him and John, Teyla and Ronon stood at the foot of the bed. She walked up and stood next to them. She noticed that Rodney quickly shifted his gaze to her but when he saw that she was looking back he dropped his gaze to the floor.

"He just woke up before you came in." John whispered to her. "We were just getting ready to introduce ourselves."

"Rodney, I have to ask ye a few questions. Do ye know who we are or where ye are?" Carson asked, looking at the small boy closely already noting he seemed nervous and kept glancing from him to John to Ronon then to the door.

"No sir." he answered, his voice barely above a whisper.

"What's the last thing ye remember?"

"I was in the kitchen, trying to talk to my mom but she was to busy with Jeannie to notice. I went outside instead. I must have fallen and hit my head." he raised his head. "Where am I? Where're my mom and dad? Who are you people?" his voice was demanding and sharp and they could all see a little bit of the adult McKay shinning through.

Carson wasn't sure how to answer him but was saved from trying when John stepped up and sat down on the stool that was next to Carson. "Rodney your mom and dad had to go away for a while but they left you with us. As for where you are we can't tell you right now, just know that you are safe and while your with us nothing can hurt you."

"If my parents left me with you why don't I remember them telling me? Where did they go?" Rodney was starting to panic. " I just want to go home. I don't care if my parents like Jeannie more, they wouldn't just leave me with a bunch of strangers. I'm not stupid. I want to know what's going on." he was shaking a little and John placed a calming hand on the boy's knee.

"Rodney, buddy. You were in an accident and that's why you don't remember coming here. Your parents didn't know how to help you so they brought you to us since we do." John explained, making sure he knew that his parents would just abandon him without just cause. He didn't like that Rodney had said his parents liked Jeannie more, no child should think that.

"Who are all of you." Rodney asked again looking at them all, though his eyes seemed to linger on Ronon a bit longer then the rest.

John smiled at him, "Well I'm Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard. That's Teyla Emmagan, Specialist Ronon Dex, Doctor Elizabeth Weir and this is Doctor Carson Beckett." John pointed out each person as he said there name. Teyla, Elizabeth and Carson had all smiled at Rodney while Ronon had just gave a nod of his head. " Dr. Beckett needs to check you over to make sure your going to be all right. Can you let him do that?"

Rodney looked at Carson, who gave him a reassuring smile before nodding. John smiled at him and stood up, leaving the stool for Carson.

"Alright lad, I'm going to need to do a complete check up on ye." Carson helped Rodney down from off the bed and led him to the other side of the infirmary. He told Rodney to stand on a scale and took his weight and height. He wrote it down and led him back to the bed. He helped Rodney back up on to it and proceeded to recheck his pulse, respiratory rate and blood pressure.

Carson picked up a glucose meter and lancing device and turned to Rodney, "Lad, I'm going to need to test your blood. I'm going to have to use a needle but it'll be a very small one."

"Will it hurt?" Rodney asked, his voice soft and timid.

"It might at first but it'll be over before ye know it." Carson picked up the lancer and placed it at the tip of Rodney's ring finger on his left hand. He pressed it to the skin gently and pushed the release button. He saw Rodney wince and bite his lower lip, which Carson knew was a sure sign Rodney was in pain. He put the lancer down on the tray and picked up the glucose meter and collected some blood onto the test strip. He waited ten seconds before a the number appeared on the screen and frowned when he saw it.

"Is something wrong Dr. Beckett?" Teyla asked, when she noticed the frown on his face.

"No. Nothing at all. Rodney I want ye to lay back and try to get some rest. I'll have a nurse bring ye something to change into." Carson said. "But before I leave, can ye tell us how old ye are?"

"I'm eight almost eight and a half." Rodney answered.

Carson patted him on the arm, "Thank you lad. Now get some rest."

He motioned for the group to follow him to his office. He passed the nurse, John thought her name was Kate, and asked her to look for the smallest set of scrubs they had and to start Rodney on a glucose drip and draw some blood.

Once everyone had entered he closed the door and motioned for everyone to find a seat. After everyone had taken a seat, John wasted no time in asking him questions.

"First things first Carson. Is he okay?" John asked.

"He's as good as he can be. The lad is running a slight fever but nothing serious. I'm worried about his blood sugar though it was almost to low for what is normal for him. I told Kate to put him on a glucose drip."

"Carson is that really our Rodney?" Elizabeth asked.

"As far as I can tell, without any proper tests, he appears to be our Rodney yes." Carson answered.

"How is it possible?" John was still having a difficult time wrapping his head around what had happened.

"I'm not the one ye should be asking John. Radek will probably have a better idea. If I had to guess though, the machine appears to have regressed him physically and mentally to how he was at eight years old." Carson answered.

"Will this cause him any harm?" Teyla asked, worry littering her voice.

"I can't say if this will or not. That's why I want to give him an MRI and CAT scan to make sure there is nothing physically wrong with him." Carson looked around the group and saw they all looked uneasy at the prospect of something being wrong with their friend. "I should tell ye that there is a chance that his body might not be able to handle the change and could start deteriorate so fast that he could die before this is reversed."

"Are you telling us he's going to die?" Elizabeth asked.

Carson shook his head, "I don't know for sure but there is a possibility. If his body is not able to handle the strain of his transformation then it is possible, probable even, that it will start to shut down and if that happens I won't be able to do anything about it except slow the deterioration down and make the process as painless as possible for him."

John stood up, "Are you telling us that we will have to stand by and watch Rodney die. We've already had to watch him almost die because of some stupid Ancient device now we'll have to do that again?"

"No John, I'm not now sit down." John did as he was told, embarrassed by his out burst. " These are completely different circumstances then those with the Ascension machine. I said _if_ his body is unable to handle the strain not _that_ his body is unable to handle the strain. We've never dealt with something like this before and until Radek figures out what that machine does and how it did this to Rodney I can only guess about what will happen." Carson took a deep calming breath before continuing. "With that said I am worried about him though. He's small and underweight for his age. He looks more like a six year old then an eight year old. He weighs 44 pounds and he's 48 inches tall."

"You think he's been abused?" Elizabeth asked, not quiet sure what to make of it.

"Not necessarily abused but physically neglected would probably be a better term to use. I say physically because he clearly doesn't receive much to eat. When I examined him down in the lab I could clearly see all of his ribs." Carson explained. "I didn't get a chance to ask him about them after we brought him up here and I'm not sure he would have said anything even if I had asked."

"What do you mean he was neglected?" Ronon asked, speaking for the first time since they were down in the lab.

"I mean his parents neglected to care for him in the most basic ways. In Rodney's case they have probably denied him food, and unless there's another underlying cause for his weight issues, he was neglected."

John snorted, "Carson if he really is that light then I think its clear that he was neglected."

They were interrupted when Elizabeth's radio went off.

"Dr. Weir." Zelenka's voice sounded over the small radio.

"Yes Zelenka. Have you found something out about the machine?" she asked.

"Yes I have. I think you need to come down and see for yourself."

"I will be down shortly. Weir out." she shut off her radio. "I'll go see what he has found," she stood up from her chair. "Keep me posted on Rodney's condition"

"I will Elizabeth." promised Carson.

She walked out of the office and quietly made her way out of the infirmary. It wasn't soon after that Teyla and Ronon followed her and they to asked to be kept updated on their teammates condition.

"You should go and get something to eat and get some rest too John." Carson suggested, eyeing the tired look in his friends eyes.

John shook his head. "No, I want to be here when he wakes up."

"At least go to the mess hall and get something to eat." Carson ordered.

It took another ten minutes of arguments and threats before John finally agreed to leave and come back in two hours after he had gotten some food to eat and some rest. Rodney was likely to sleep most of the afternoon if he was left undisturbed, which he wouldn't be able to do with people hanging around his bed. Carson spent the next two hours setting up the various equipment he would need for the tests he wanted to give Rodney.

John returned exactly two hours after he had gotten something to eat. Carson sighed, he knew his friend hadn't gotten any rest in the two hours he had been gone.

"If your going to be in here then your going to help me. Go wake Rodney while I finish getting the scanner ready." Carson instructed.

"Sure." he said to the doctor.

John walked over to Rodney's bed and just stood and watched him for a moment. The boy was sprawled on his stomach, head turned to one way, the blankets drawn all the way up to his ears, leaving only his nose and closed eyes to be seen. An IV ran under the blanket where it attached to one of Rodney's hands. John couldn't help but grin. It was nice to see him looking so carefree, even if it was in sleep.

He gently shook the boys shoulder, "Rodney wake up. Come on buddy, you need to get up."

It took a few moments but Rodney finally woke up. He looked at John bleary eyed and rubbed both of his eyes trying to scrub the sleep from them.

"Colonel Sheppard?" he asked, his voice heavy with sleep.

John smiled in greeting, "Hey Rodney."

Rodney nodded in greeting and absentmindedly scratched the IV port that was attached to the back of his left hand. He wondered where his parents were and when they would be back. He was used to them just leaving him home alone but this was the first time they had left him with complete strangers. Before he was able to ask John where they were the Doctor from earlier came around the divider.

Carson smiled at him. "Hello lad. You have a good rest?"

"Yeah I did." Rodney looked down at his hands. "When will my parents be back?"

Rodney didn't see the look that passed between John and Carson. They knew they couldn't tell him the truth, at least not now, Rodney still didn't fully trust them and that would just make it harder for him to believe them.

"They won't be able to come back for a few more days lad." Carson said carefully. "Until then your in our care. Let's not worry about that now. I'm going to need you to follow me because I need to do a few more tests."

Rodney pushed off the blankets and stood on shaky legs next to Carson.

"Carson I'm going to go tell Ronon and Teyla that Rodney is awake. We'll come back in a few hours."

John was about to turn around when he felt a slight tug on his jacket sleeve. He looked down and saw that Rodney had his sleeve in a tight grip.

"Can you please stay with me? I don't want to be alone. If its not to much trouble?" Rodney asked quietly.

"It's not to much trouble Rodney." John held out his hand for Rodney to take. "I'll make sure nothing hurts you."

Rodney looked at the hand with a weary look before he finally took it in a tentative grip. Carson led them back to the scanner.

** Later That Night**

The Conference room was normally empty this late at night but tonight was the exception. Elizabeth sat at the head of the horseshoe shaped table, John, Teyla and Ronon sat to her left while Carson, Radek and Kate Heightmeyer sat to her right.

She turned to Carson, "How did all the scans look?"

"They all turned up normal. There was no sign of any deterioration in his veins or his major organs." reported Carson. "As of now he appears to be a healthy eight year old boy besides his malnourishment and underdevelopment of course. His blood sugar has started to level out so I don't have to worry about that. His fever still hasn't come down but it hasn't gone up either, I've given him a wide range antibiotic, which hopefully will bring down the fever. The DNA tests came back and I can confirm that he is the real Rodney McKay and not a clone or anything else."

"What about his mental state?" she asked.

"He appears to have totally regressed to how he was when he was eight years old. He doesn't remember anything about Atlantis or any of the people here." Carson said. "He hasn't asked about his parents though not since he asked John when they would be back"

"I haven't had the chance to talk to him yet but I find it very strange that he hasn't asked about them since then. It's not conclusive but it shows that there are some underlying issues he has with them." Kate said. "If he is up to it I'll talk to him tomorrow afternoon."

"Do you think it proves he was neglected?" John asked.

"Not necessarily but after I talk to him tomorrow I'll have a better idea. From what I've heard though, yes he was probably neglected." she told them.

"Radek what have you found out about the machine that did this?" Elizabeth asked him.

"There was mention of it in the Ancient database. Rodney was correct, when he said they used it for psychology and that it worked in stages. The database didn't say what therapy they used it for. There were no files on how it worked or how to reverse it effects." Radek explained.

"So we basically have nothing to go on and no way to reverse it. We don't even know if this is reversible. Rodney could be stuck like this and have to grow up again." John ranted. "I doubt the SGC is going to let an eight year old kid live on Atlantis and let him grow up here."

"John. That's enough " Elizabeth said sharply. "I think the best thing to do now is to make sure Rodney is comfortable here with us and try to figure out more about that machine. Radek, tomorrow I want you and your team to look through any data that is in the terminals that were in the room maybe they kept the files separate from the main database. John, Teyla, Ronon, I want you to spend as much of the day with him as possible, show him around the city. You were planning on going to the mainland, maybe take him with you. I also think we need to tell him where he really is and what really happened to him."

They all nodded their agreement to her requests.

"Let's all go to bed. It's been a long day for all of us." Elizabeth suggested. Everyone stood up and headed out of the Conference room and walked towards their quarters to get some sleep.

** The Next Day**

Rodney woke up the next morning to Nurse Kate removing his IV. She smiled at him and asked a few questions on how he was feeling. After he answered she told him Dr. Beckett would be in soon to check up on him. He watched her walk to the other side of the infirmary and finally got his first look at the infirmary. The room was large and he could see a lot of beds, all were empty. He saw about six doors leading off into different rooms, Rodney figured they were for critical patients. He noticed a set of double doors on the opposite wall. He carefully slipped out of bed and softly walked over to them. As he got closer he realized there wasn't a door handle and he wondered how they were opened. He really wanted to see what was on the other side of them and wished there was a way to get them opened. Rodney made to turn around when he heard a type of scratching noise and he was pleasantly surprised to see they were now open. He smiled and walked through them and his jaw dropped at what he saw.

An ocean. That was all he could see, a huge, never ending ocean. He stepped up to the railing and looked down and immediately came to the conclusion that he was really high off the ground. Large towers rose up on other side of him and two huge platforms stretched out in two directions. He started around in amazement, trying to take everything in. He was so absorbed that he didn't notice the sound of footsteps come up behind him.

"Beautiful isn't it?" a soft voice asked from above him.

Rodney gave a startled yelp and spun around to stare at the new arrivals. He recognized them all, Teyla was apparently the one who had spoken to him and was standing right next to him. John, Carson and Ronon were standing in the doorway.

Teyla knelt down next to him and looked out at the ocean.

"Yeah it is beautiful." he finally answered her. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to come out here without permission. I just wanted to see what was out here."

"It is fine Rodney. We were just surprised to find you here." Teyla explained, her voice soft and soothing. "We thought you had wandered out of the infirmary. You must always remember to tell someone where you are going, there are some devices here that could potentially harm you if you accidentally touched them."

"My parents never really cared weather I told them where I was going, they don't even bother asking anymore, at least not since Jeannie was born." Rodney told them. "I won't go anywhere without telling someone though, if that makes you feel better."

John gave him a smile that appeared to be a little strained but Rodney didn't seem to notice. Carson stepped up, placed a hand on Rodney's shoulder and led him back into the infirmary and to his bed.

"Alright lad I'm going to prick your finger again then John, Teyla and Ronon are going to take ye to the Mess Hall for breakfast." Carson told him. The blood sugar test took only seconds and Carson gave him a cotton ball to press against it until it stopped bleeding. Carson looked at the reading and was pleased to see that while it was still a little low it wasn't as bad as the day before. "Just let me take your temperature and then your free to go." He used a digital thermometer and saw that the small fever he'd had the day before had gone away.

"Well your blood sugar has started to go up and your temperature is normal. Your free to go." Carson said with a smile. He turned to the three team members standing behind him.

"Bring him back after breakfast so I can recheck his glucose levels."

"Sure Carson." John answered.

Teyla set a bundle of clothes next to Rodney. "I brought you these Rodney. They were left over from when my people lived here. They might a little big for you but they will work for now. We will let you get changed."

Rodney gave her a shy smile and quietly thanked her. He picked up the clothes and Carson led him to the bathroom to change. Rodney came out a few minutes later dressed in loose fitting, slightly long black pants. A long sleeved loose black shirt, vest and boots completed the outfit. Teyla knelt down and rolled the hems of the pants and shirt sleeves.

"A little big but they will do for now." she smiled at him. "Are you hungry?"

"Yea a little bit." he answered.

John stepped forward, "Rodney before we go we need to talk to you."

Rodney looked around at all of them before slowly making his way back to his bed to sit.

"Did I do something wrong?" he asked once he was sitting.

Ronon shook his head, "No you didn't do anything wrong." he said, speaking for the first time.

"Ronon's right you did nothing wrong Rodney." John said immediately. "We need to tell you something and it may not sound like it could be real but it is. I promise you it is."

John started to explain about Atlantis and how they had come to be here. He also told Rodney about how he was really an adult and about the machine that had turned him into an eight year old. He left out anything involving the Wraith or Rodney getting injured. Through the whole telling Rodney was silent. Finally John was finished and the three waited for Rodney to say something.

"Your telling me that I'm on a different planet in a whole different galaxy in a city that most people don't even think is real and if that's not enough I'm an adult." Rodney was near hysterics and close to hyperventilating.

John gripped Rodney's shoulder but the boy squirmed out from his grip and scrambled off the bed to get away from them.

"Your lying. Where's my mom and dad? Where's Jeannie? I want to go HOME." Rodney was shouting by the end and tears were falling from his eyes. He kept backing away from them until he reached the corner where he slid down until he was curled up into a tight ball.

"Just let me go home. Please." he begged, though it sounded more like whimpering.

Teyla walked over to him and knelt down next to him and gathered the sobbing boy into her arms. She worked on calming him down as John and Ronon knelt down next to them.

"Rodney, buddy. I promise you we aren't lying to you. You really are an adult and your our friend. We don't know how this happened but we're going to fix it."

Rodney raised his tear streaked face and looked John straight in the eyes. John got the impression that he was looking right through him and just held his gaze. After a few seconds Rodney seemed to find what he was looking for and nodded his head.

"I believe you." he said quietly. He wiped his face with his sleeves and stood up, seemingly embarrassed at crying in front of them.

Teyla stood up as well, "Are you hungry?" she asked him.

"Yeah. I little bit." he answered quietly.

"Then lets go get you something." she held out her hand for him to take.

He looked at it before raising his own hand and allowing her to grasp his in her own. She led him out of the infirmary and slowly walked towards the Mess Hall with John and Ronon following behind them. On the way Rodney would sometimes ask questions about things he saw and Teyla would do her best to answer and if she didn't know then John and sometimes Ronon would answer for her. By the time they reached the mess the breakfast rush was over with and only a few stragglers were left. As the group walked past they received a few looks but John was grateful that no one decided to say anything. He knew that all of Atlantis would have heard about Rodney's transformation thanks to the Atlantis rumor mill.

John was ready to pass a tray down to Rodney when he realized that he could barely see over the counter.

"Rodney why don't you go find a table for us to sit at out on the balcony and I'll get your breakfast." John suggested.

"Okay, just no citrus. I'm allergic to it." Rodney said.

John nodded and Rodney walked towards the doors leading to the balcony.

"He's quiet." Ronon said, as he loaded his tray with food.

"He's in a strange place, with people he doesn't know. He's just been told that he is really in his thirties on a strange planet in a different galaxy. I'd be pretty quiet if I were him." said John as he grabbed some fresh fruit for Rodney to go along with the pancakes already on the plate.

Ronon glared at him, "I meant he's unnaturally quiet. Even after all of that I would have expected endless questions from him about how we're going to return him to an adult. Other then the few questions he asked on the way here he's said very little."

"He's probably still processing everything. Give him a while and I'm sure we won't get him to shut up." John grinned and took his and Rodney's tray and went out to the balcony, with Teyla and Ronon following.

Rodney had chosen a table at the farthest end of the balcony and was sitting with his back facing the wall, he was staring out at the ocean and looked lost in his thoughts.

"Rodney." John called.

Rodney jumped slightly when John called his name and turned his attention back to the present.

"Are you okay Rodney?" Teyla asked him as she took her seat across from him. Ronon took the seat next to her.

"Yeah. I'm fine."

John set Rodney's tray down in front of him and sat down next him. Rodney gave a quiet. " Thank you Colonel." John smiled at him and started to eat. He realized a few minutes later that Rodney still hadn't touched his food.

"Is something wrong Rodney?" John asked.

"Is all of this for me?" Rodney asked.

John set down his fork and turned his full attention onto the boy sitting next to him. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Teyla and Ronon had stopped eating to.

"Why wouldn't it be Rodney?" Teyla asked, looking at him strangely.

Rodney looked down, "I don't normally get this much to eat. My mom says I'm fat and I need to not eat as much."

John and Teyla looked shocked and even Ronon couldn't quiet believe what he'd just heard.

Teyla reached over and took Rodney's hands in her own. "Rodney you are not fat. As an adult your not fat. What your mother said is wrong and she never should have said that to you. Do you understand?"

Rodney looked up at her. He wanted to believe her so bad but his mom was always telling him he was fat and that he ate to much. He would always get half of what everyone else got even Jeannie. He hated how him mom called him fat and how his dad just told him to stop complaining.

"Rodney. Do you understand?" Teyla asked again.

"Yeah. I understand." he said quietly.

She smiled, "Good. Now eat before your breakfast gets any colder."

Rodney picked up his fork and slowly started eating. John, Teyla and Ronon watched him for a moment before going back to their own breakfast's. They finished eating and talked about visiting the mainland while they waited for Rodney to finish eating.

"What's the mainland?" Rodney asked, after he finished, even though a third of his food still remained on his plate.

"It's the continent where my people live." Teyla told him. "It has been a while since I last visited them and planed to visit them this afternoon while you are talking to Dr. Heightmeyer."

Rodney frowned not liking how that sounded. "Who's Dr. Heightmeyer?"

John saw the frown and raised an eyebrow, "She's the psychiatrist for Atlantis. She was hoping to get the chance to talk to you this afternoon. If your okay with it that is?"

"You mean I have a choice?" Rodney asked, surprised he was being given a choice.

"Of course Rodney. We will not make you talk to her if you do not wish to." Teyla said.

"It's just, I've never been given a choice before. My parents just make me go, even though I don't like going." Rodney explained.

"I'm done now." Rodney said, changing th subject. "Can we talk about something else?"

Teyla nodded, she was well aware of his change of subject. "Of course. Would you like to visit the mainland. It would give you a chance to play with children your own age."

"I don't know, would the kids like me. Everyone at school just makes fun of me and tries to beat me up. Will these kids try to do that?" Rodney looked uncomfortable at that thought.

"No they won't." Teyla told him. "They are taught to be polite to everyone. They are very nice and as long as you are nice to them there should be no problems."

Rodney smiled at her, "Okay. I guess it won't be so bad."

"I'm glad you think that." Teyla smiled at him.

"When do we leave?" asked Rodney curiously as he picked up his tray and followed the three adults into the kitchen.

"A few hours." answered John. "You need to get checked out by Carson first. Ronon is going to take you up there."

Rodney stopped in his tracks, "Why can't you or Teyla take me up there. Or I can go myself. I remember the way back I don't need anyone to come with me."

John put a hand on Rodney's shoulder, "I'm sure you don't buddy but it's easy to get lost here. I have to get the jumper ready and Teyla is getting supplies ready to take to the mainland so Ronon's the only one available to take you up to the infirmary. I know he might look intimidating but he's really a big softy. Besides he's going to bring you down to the jumper bay after your done with Carson."

Ronon scowled at John who just grinned back at him. Rodney still looked nervous but didn't say anything else. John smiled at him and ruffled his hair and Teyla squeezed his shoulder before both walked away.

"Come on McKay." Ronon ordered and started down the corridor, not looking back to see if Rodney was following or not.

Rodney had to run to catch up with the much taller man and struggled to keep up with him. Ronon realized Rodney's struggle and slowed his pace down. Rodney gave him a small smile and a quiet "Thank you."

They entered the infirmary about ten minutes later and saw that Carson was already waiting for them. He smiled when they entered and motioned to the bed he was standing next to.

"Hop up here lad. Just one little poke and you'll be good to go." Rodney walked up to him and jumped up onto the bed. Ronon made his way over and stood at the foot of the bed.

"Did he eat a full breakfast?" Carson asked Ronon as he poked Rodney's finger with the lancer.

" No. He did eat half of it though maybe a little more." Ronon answered.

Carson nodded as he read the meter and was pleased that while he hadn't eaten a full breakfast, Rodney's blood sugar had finally leveled out.

"Well your good to go Rodney." Carson smiled at him. " I'll want to see him tomorrow after dinner to make sure his sugar levels are staying where they should. Make sure he eats a full lunch and dinner and he'll be just fine."

Ronon nodded, "Okay doc. Come on kid."

Rodney got off the bed and followed the runner out of the infirmary. He wondered what the jumper bay was. What a "jumper" was. John had mentioned them twice this morning and he was curious to see what they were. He realized that they were either going to be ships of some kind or planes of some kind and judging on how advanced the city appeared to be he could only guess the "jumpers" would be advanced as well. The walk took twenty minutes and when Rodney caught sight of the jumper sitting on the floor his jaw dropped open.

John walked out the back of the jumper and laughed at the look on Rodney's face.

" You like it?" John asked, still chuckling at Rodney.

Rodney nodded and hurried over to the jumper looking at it in awe. John watched him as he walked around the outside, his hands running over the sides, as he examined the craft closely. He remembered watching an adult Rodney do the same thing when had first seen the jumpers, examining them with care.

" It fly's, doesn't it? It can't be a boat, I saw how high up we are so its impossible for it to be a boat of some kind. How do you get it out of here? I don't see a door of any kind." Rodney continued firing off questions, wanting to know everything.

" Slow down Rodney." John put a hand on Rodney's shoulder, effectively quieting him. He patiently answered all of his questions, adding as much detail as he could.

Rodney soaked up all the information John was giving him. It wasn't very often he had people willing to talk to him for long periods of time. Most of the time they had to, like his teachers or his parents. He liked how it felt.

It was another hour before the jumper was ready to go. The back was filled with food, tools and medical supplies. When Rodney had asked why they were taking all of it Teyla had explained that her people traded a portion of their crops to Atlantis in exchange for supplies from earth.

Rodney followed John into the front of the jumper. John pointed him to the co-pilots seat and told him to sit down. He examined the Control Counsel closely, taking note of the different controls and deducing what they were used for. He paid particular attention to the Dialing Device, not quiet sure what it's use was for.

He reached his hand out to touch it when John stopped him, " You best not touch that right now. Don't want to accidentally activate the gate."

" What's the gate?" he asked.

" You'll get to see it tomorrow since we won't have enough time today. Radek will explain it to you then." John said as he flew the craft up and out of the jumper bay.

Rodney looked out of the viewport and watched as they flew over the city. John had to remind himself that to Rodney he hadn't ever flown in a puddlejumper before and this was his first time in one. The more he saw Rodney react to things in the city the more he wanted the adult Rodney back.

The flight to the mainland took about 45 minutes and John was surprised that Rodney spent most of the trip sitting quietly asking only a few questions and getting up to examine the jumper.

John landed the jumper just outside of the settlement, where many of the Athosians were waiting for them. John lowered the rear hatch and he and Ronon started unloading the supplies while Teyla greeted them. Rodney did his best to stay out of the way. Once John was done unloading the jumper he led Rodney into the village, following Teyla and the rest of the Athosians. Teyla introduced Rodney to Jinto and Wex. At first Rodney seemed nervous to be around them but as more kids started to come over he slowly started to open up and play more willingly.

John, Teyla and Ronon stood talking to Halling, while at the same time watching Rodney participate in the makeshift game of soccer. They were using a real soccer ball someone from Atlantis had given to them. John watched as Rodney intercepted the ball from the opposing team and ran it down the field and kick it into the makeshift goal. All three smiled when his team members congratulated him before they continued playing.

An hour later they all took a break for a quick lunch. John made sure that Rodney ate everything and let him go back to the soccer game. Two hours later John decided that it was time for them to go back to Atlantis. He waved goodbye to the Athosians and walked beside John as they made their way to the jumper.

" You were really good out there Rodney. Where'd you learn to play like that?" John was curious to know and when Rodney returned to normal he was going to ask him why he'd hid it.

" That was my first time playing. I've seen it on T.V. before but I never actually played it. It's all just angles anyway. If you know what angle the ball will travel when you kick it then you can hit it into the goal nearly every time."

John looked at him surprised. He couldn't quiet believe that Rodney had never played before that afternoon and had actually played as good as someone who had been playing there whole life.

" That's amazing Rodney, that your able to do that and get it into the goal nearly every time. You should be proud of yourself, not many people can do that." John put a hand on the boys shoulder and gave it a friendly squeeze. Rodney grinned up at him and ran ahead them.

" I haven't seen him this energetic in a long time." Teyla commented, watching as Rodney ran to the jumper. She was carrying a small bag containing a change of clothes for Rodney.

" Don't you mean ever." Ronon grumbled. " He's never like this as an adult, even if he's tinkering with some device he's found."

They reached the jumper a few minutes after Rodney. They walked up the ramp and immediately saw that the HUD was up and Rodney was sitting in the pilots chair looking at it. John wasn't sure how the HUD activated, since you needed the ATA gene and as an eight year old Rodney didn't have it.

John walked up behind him, " Rodney how did you do that?"

Rodney raised his head, " I just sat down. I wanted to know more about the planet and all of a sudden this screen came up and when ever I wanted to know something else it appeared. It's so cool."

He stood up and moved over to the copilots chair and sat down. John took his seat and they were quickly on their way back to Atlantis. He still didn't understand how the HUD had activated for Rodney when he didn't have the ATA gene, or wasn't supposed to have the gene. He'd ask Carson to test him for it once they got back to Atlantis.

Once they reached Atlantis and landed in the jumper bay John wasted no time in getting Rodney to Carson.

" Why are we going back? I feel fine." complained Rodney.

John grinned, it was nice to hear Rodney complain for once. He'd been to complacent the whole day.

" Carson is going to have to run one more test on you. I'd rather it get done today then tomorrow." John finally answered.

Rodney huffed but kept anymore complaints to himself the rest of the way to the infirmary. They entered and saw Carson working on paperwork, he looked up when they entered and looked at them questioningly.

" What are you doing here so early?" he asked, coming towards them. " Rodney's not due for another blood sugar test until tonight."

" Rodney why don't you go sit down on your bed. We'll be over in a minute." John told him. Rodney started to protest but one look from John and he went quietly.

" I'll will keep Rodney company." offered Teyla and she walked over and sat down with Rodney.

" I'll go with Teyla." Ronon said, following her.

" Why don't we go talk in my office." Carson walked off without waiting for a response, leaving John no choice but to follow. Once the door was shut Carson to turned to John. " What's going on?"

" Carson you need to run a DNA test on Rodney." said John.

Carson frowned, " Why? I already proved that, that's really Rodney McKay out there. Why would I need to do another test?"

" Because I think he has the ATA gene." John said simply.

" That's not possible. He didn't have it until he received the gene therapy. He can't have it now."

" I know Carson." exclaimed John. " But how do you explain the way the HUD in the jumper came online for him when he was the only one in it. Ronon and Teyla were there, they saw it to. That machine must have done something when it changed him."

" I'll get the sample now." Carson left his office and went straight for Rodney's bed. John followed behind him at a sedate pace.

Carson was explaining what he would be doing and Rodney was looking at him with fearful eyes. Teyla had placed a comforting arm around his shoulders and Rodney buried his face in her arm when Carson stuck him with the needle. Teyla whispered comforting words to him, as Carson took two vials of blood. A band aid and the promise that that was the last time he needed blood, John, Teyla and Ronon were leading Rodney out of the infirmary.

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The rest of the afternoon was spent keeping Rodney entertained. Which to everyone's surprise was surprisingly easy. Rodney was apparently content to just walk around the halls, taking in as much of the city as he could.

Dinner came and they reached the mess hall right before the dinner rush started. Rodney once again picked a table, this time one in the corner of the room. John set Rodney's tray down in front of him and after reassuring him that all the food was his to eat Rodney dug right in.

" Did you fun today Rodney?" John asked, about halfway through their meal.

Rodney nodded, " Yeah, it was great. Today's been the most fun I've had in a long time. Most kids don't like me, they think I'm weird."

" You're nor weird McKay. Your perfectly normal. Now and as an adult." Ronon told him, his voice leaving no room for argument.

Looking at him with surprise, Rodney nodded and went back to eating. Teyla smiled and John gave a small chuckle.

After dinner John led Rodney back to the infirmary for his blood sugar test while Ronon and Teyla headed off to go to bed. It was decided that Rodney would sleep there, until other arrangements could made. Rodney changed into the pair of scrubs he'd worn the night before and feel asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.

" Before you ask John. I'm still running tests on his blood. I'll have the results by tomorrow afternoon. Are you going to show him the gate room?" Carson asked, as they once again sat in his office.

John nodded, " Yeah. I'm going to have meet Elizabeth properly. Hopefully tomorrow Radek will have something on that machine and we will be able to get Rodney back to normal."

" Aye, I miss him to John." Carson agreed to the unspoken admission. He'd know the man long enough to be able to hear what he sometimes left unsaid. " You should go to bed, it's been an interesting day."

John stood, " I'll see you tomorrow morning. Radio if anything unexpected happens."

" I will. Good night John." Carson said.

" Night Carson."


	2. Chapter 2

Here is the second chapter everyone. I'll keep this short and sweet. Hope you all like it. Remember to Read and Review.

SPOILER WARNING- Spoilers for - The Storm/The Eye, Trinity, The Hive and Phantoms.

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Radek sighed in frustration. He'd been looking through the labs database all night and still hadn't come up with anything worth mentioning. He hated feeling like there was nothing he could do to help, it was like a few weeks ago, with the ascension machine. Rodney may not have been dying in this case but the feeling of helplessness was still there.

He searched for another hour through various files before he finally found something. He read through it carefully and couldn't believe what he was reading. He downloaded it to his PC tablet and ran to the nearest transporter.

He got to Elizabeth's office and was relieved to see her sitting at her desk. She looked up when he knocked.

" I found something." he said, cutting off her greeting.

He walked in and handed her his tablet. She read through everything carefully, becoming more surprised as she did.

" Is this correct?" she asked after she finished reading.

He nodded his head. " Yes. It comes directly from the machine database. Rodney was right in his theory. That's why it activated for him and no one else."

" I'll call a meeting. This has helped a lot." Elizabeth said she handed back his PC tablet and Radek took up a seat at the controls and continued going through the rest of the files.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

John entered the infirmary late the next morning to find Rodney sitting cross legged on his bed, dressed and talking to Carson. He walked up to the bed and ruffled Rodney's hair.

" How are you doing Rodney?" he asked.

" Fine. Carson was just keeping me company until you, Teyla or Ronon came and got me. He said that today your going to show me the Stargate and the control center." Rodney jumped off the bed. " Yesterday you said Radek would be showing me. Who's Radek?"

" He's a scientist and someone you work with. He can explain everything better then I can." explained John as he led Rodney out of the infirmary to go get a late breakfast.

Once they got there they saw Teyla and Ronon already sitting at a table. Rodney picked up his own tray and followed John over to where they were sitting.

" Good morning John. Rodney." Teyla greeted them both.

" Morning Teyla." John said. " Hey Ronon."

Ronon just grunted and went back to his meal. John knew that once he finished a complete conversation would be possible.

" Morning Teyla." said Rodney, around spoonfuls of cereal. " Good morning Ronon."

" Did you sleep well last night?" asked Teyla.

Rodney nodded, " Yeah. I woke up early this morning but Carson came and kept me company until someone came and got me. John said I would get to see the Stargate today and meet Radek." he turned to John, " Will I get to see Dr. Weir today?"

" Yeah you should. Her office is near the control center." John answered. " We're probably going to have a meeting with her later, see if Radek's found anything."

They all finished eating and made their way to the gate room. John tapped his radio on. " Radek it's Sheppard. Are you busy right now?"

" I am looking over the files I pulled from the machine. Why?" the accented voice came over the radio.

" I was hoping you could show Rodney the controls and explain the Stargate." John said.

" That would be fine Colonel. I am already in the control room. I'll be waiting for you." Radek said.

" Thank you Radek. Sheppard out." John looked down at Rodney. " Radek will be waiting for us when we get there."

Rodney was practically jumping up and down with excitement. They reached a transporter and John pressed the dot nearest to the control room. They exited the transporter and were halfway to the control room when John's radio beeped.

He tapped it, " This is Sheppard."

" John this is Elizabeth. Radek was able to find what we needed on the machine. I need you, Teyla and Ronon to come to the conference room. I've already contacted Carson and Kate." Elizabeth said.

" We were just headed there actually, Radek is going to show Rodney the control systems." John said. " We'll be there in a few minutes. Sheppard out."

" Have they found something?" asked Ronon.

" Yeah. We're meeting in the conference room." John said.

" Are we almost there yet?" Rodney asked a few minutes later.

John grinned, " Just about."

The doors in front of them slid open revealing the control center. If Rodney thought that the jumper bay was cool, it paled in comparison to the control room. Rodney looked around in awe. Scientists were walking around or sitting at the controls and a few marines stood guard. Rodney looked around and saw a large metal circle, he instantly knew was the Stargate. He turned around in a small circle, trying to take everything in at once.

" This is the coolest thing I've ever seen." Rodney exclaimed.

" I'm glad." John laughed, Teyla and Ronon also looked amused. He looked around for Radek and saw him sitting behind the control panel.

" We will be in the conference room." Ronon said and he and Teyla walked up to the conference room.

John led Rodney up to the second level and introduced him to the Czech scientist. John could tell Radek was a little uncomfortable talking to Rodney, who was usually ordering him around. Rodney started asking questions and soon Radek forgot all about being uncomfortable and launched into his explanations.

John left them to it and headed for the conference room. He entered and took a seat between Teyla and Ronon opposite Carson and Kate.

Elizabeth wasted no time in getting started. " This morning Radek was able to find out what exactly happened to Rodney. We've been able to translate most of the file and now know exactly how it works. The machine was specifically designed to help the victims of abuse or neglect. Rodney said that it works in stages and he was right. It apparently is able to determine weather someone suffered from either one or both of these and reverts them back to when they first started suffering the most. Which is why Rodney was turned into an eight year old. This must have been the age he was most severely neglected by his parents. From there the subject will age automatically to when they suffered most from another form of abuse."

" How many of these so called stages are there exactly?" John asked.

" Four. Each dealing with a different form of abuse. Neglect, emotional/verbal abuse, physical abuse and…" Elizabeth didn't finish, everyone understood what the last one was, even Ronon and Teyla.

" How many do you think Rodney will have to go through?"

" It's hard to say." Kate looked down at Rodney's file. " The few sessions I've had with him since coming here I haven't been able to get much out of him about his childhood or what his home life was like back then. He doesn't like sharing his past with people."

" Okay taking into account that Rodney was most likely abused as kid, how do we get him back to an adult? Do we just stick him on the platform again and we get our Rodney back again." asked John.

Elizabeth shook her head, " It doesn't work that way. The machine was designed so the subject would have to face and come to terms with the abuse they suffered. As an adult, Rodney obviously still suffers from the neglect and abuse he suffered as a kid. He will have to come to terms with what happened to him before he is able to become an adult again."

" How long will this take?" Carson asked, worried for his friend. " Are there any signs that we should look for in Rodney that will tell us he is progressing?

" It could take anywhere from days to weeks, how ever long it takes Rodney to come to terms in each stage. He will sleep through the whole process and it could happen over night or he could suddenly collapse in the middle of the day. The data doesn't clearly say, just that it will be one of these two." Elizabeth said. " Until then we have to decide where Rodney is going to be staying for the duration of this. He can't continue to stay in the infirmary nor can he go back to his own rooms."

" Could he not stay with one of us?" asked Teyla. " He still is not fully comfortable with us. He could spend a night with one of us. That way he will learn that we mean him no harm."

" That would be a good idea. Especially if he doesn't become an adult right away." Kate said. " After we are done I'll talk to him. Figure out what he has gone through so far."

" The last thing we need to discuss is who will Rodney be staying with first." Elizabeth looked around at John, Teyla, Ronon and Carson. " Which one of you is Rodney going to stay with?"

The four looked at around at each other. None of them knew which one of them Rodney would be comfortable with the most.

Teyla finally spoke up, " I believe that Ronon should have him first." Ronon looked shocked. " Rodney is still not fully comfortable around him and I think staying with him would be a good way for Ronon to gain Rodney's trust."

Everyone looked at Ronon to see if he was okay with it.

Hesitantly Ronon nodded and simply said, " I'll take him for the night."

" I'll being him to your rooms after I'm done talking to him." Kate said

Elizabeth stood and the others followed suit. They all filed out of the conference room and out into the gate room and stopped at what they saw.

Radek was crouched down next to the gate, with a computer open in front of him, telling Rodney about the different parts of the gate. Rodney was walking around the base and running his hand over an inactive chevron. Radek was pointing out the different coordinates. John saw Lorne standing off to the side adding bits of information about other gates, like those in outer space. Rodney's full attention was on what Radek and Lorne were saying and John felt bad that it had to end but he walked up to them none the less.

" I hate to interrupt you guys but Rodney there's someone I want you to meet." John said as he stood behind Radek.

Rodney made his way over to him, " Are you sure I can't stay a little bit longer? Dr. Zelenka was still explaining how you get the gate to dial back to Earth."

John looked over Rodney's head at Radek and saw that he was busy typing away on his computer. He glanced at Lorne, who just smiled. John was sure he found this whole thing amusing.

" Not this time buddy. It's important that you meet her." John said.

" Okay. Thank you for showing me everything." Rodney thanked Radek and Lorne and followed John over to the still waiting group.

" Hi Dr. Weir." said Rodney, giving her a small smile.

" Hi Rodney. Are you liking it here so far?" she asked.

He nodded and turned his attention to Kate, " Who are you?"

" Rodney this is Dr. Heightmeyer, she's the psychologist who wanted to talk to you." John introduced.

Rodney looked at her warily. Kate seemed to notice, so she bent down so they were eye to eye.

" Hi Rodney. My name is Kate Heightmeyer. I was hoping you would let me talk to you for a little bit." she kept her voice calm, she knew Rodney's history. His parents had taken him to therapists as a child and since then he'd held a sever distrust of them.

Rodney looked up at John, who nodded encouragingly then over to Carson, who did the same.

" I guess that would be okay." Rodney said, his voice still sounding hesitant.

Kate stood up and held out her hand for him to grasp. Rodney looked it for a moment before grabbing it and letting her lead him to her office.

As John watched them walk off he turned to Carson, " Did you ever get the results from Rodney's blood test back?"

" Blood test?" Elizabeth asked, sounding worried. " I thought you said there was nothing wrong with him."

" There isn't anything wrong with him. Apparently Rodney is able to use the ATA gene. I'm not sure how yet but according to the tests the gene somehow integrated directly into his genome." Carson explained. " It's not going to cause him any harm it's just strange how it happened. I'd like to look at the files Radek found, something in them might help explain why he still has the ATA gene."

" I'll have Radek get right on it." Elizabeth smiled at them and walked over to Radek to ask him about the files.

**With Rodney**

Kate had led Rodney into her office. She motioned to a comfy looking chair and he sat down while she sat down across from him.

" How are you adjusting to everything?" Kate asked, carefully watching Rodney's reactions.

" Fine I guess." said Rodney. " It's weird to think that I'm really an adult but so far everyone's been really nice to me."

Kate smiled, " So you like everyone so far?"

Rodney nodded, " Yeah. John and Carson have been the greatest. Carson was really nice when I had to stay in the infirmary the past two nights and John stayed with me through the tests. Teyla's really nice as well she introduced me to some of the kids on the mainland. Dr. Weir seems nice, I haven't really seen her much and Dr. Zelenka was explaining all the controls and the Stargate to me and Major Lorne seems really nice to. He was telling me about the gates that are in outer space."

Kate noticed that he didn't mention Ronon at all and asked him about it, " What about Ronon? You've spent time with him, what do you think he's like?"

Rodney fidgeted, " He seems nice enough. He's kind of mean looking and he scares me a little."

" You know he wouldn't right?" Kate told him. " Ronon would never hurt you or anyone else on purpose. Why does he scare you?"

" I don't know. He just seems scary." Rodney answered.

" Do you miss your parents Rodney? It must be hard being here without them." she said to him, deciding to change subjects.

" Not really. My mom and dad don't really like spending time with me. They think I'm a nuisance, my sister Jeannie gets most of the attention. Unless I'm in trouble they just ignore me." Rodney suddenly looked uncomfortable, " Are we done yet?"

" Yeah we're almost done. I just want to talk to you about a few more things. Your going to be staying with Ronon tonight. It was decided that we can't have you stay in the infirmary until you're an adult again so every night you'll go stay with someone different. Teyla suggested Ronon."

Rodney looked panicked, " Can't I stay with John or Carson or Teyla first?"

" Rodney, Ronon will not hurt you. He's a friend of yours and while you two don't spend a lot of time together, you're still friends." Kate looked him in the eyes. " John trusts him and so does everyone else. Can you trust him to?"

" Yeah. I can." Rodney finally said, after a few moments of thought.

She smiled at him, " Good. Next is this morning when you were with Dr. Zelenka, Dr. Weir was explaining how you will be returning to an adult. Each time you age will be a quick process but the time between that will depend solely on you."

" How does it depend on me?" he asked.

" You don't have to worry about it. Just know that you will be back to normal in no time." She stood up and held her hand out for him to take. " We should get you to Ronon now."

Kate led Rodney to Ronon's quarters. Once they got there she knocked and waited for him to open it. The door suddenly opened and revealed Ronon standing there, his gun in his hand.

" Does he have a place to sleep? Clothes?" she asked, not beating around the bush.

" Yeah." Ronon said. " John brought a bag down for him."

Kate pushed Rodney towards him and with a whispered, " It'll be okay." She turned and walked back down the corridor. Rodney watched her go away with some trepidation.

Rodney followed Ronon inside and jumped slightly when the door closed behind him. Ronon had sat down on the couch a few guns and an uncountable amount of knives laid out on the table in front of him.

" You can sit down unless you'd prefer to stand?" Ronon said from the couch, his voice amused.

Rodney hurried over to a chair and sat down across from Ronon. He watched as he expertly disassembled, cleaned and then reassembled his many guns.

"There's some books over there if you want something to do." Ronon said.

Rodney stood up and wandered over to the dozen or so books that sat on a shelf. He recognized a most of the titles and decided on the _Adventures of Huckleberry Finn._ He sat back down and read quietly until dinner.

--- After Dinner---

Dinner had been different then the night before, instead of being nearly empty, the mess hall had been practically full with people. He'd been extremely uncomfortable with all the stares and whispers but had simply ignored it. After dinner and a quick trip to see Carson, Ronon led Rodney back to his rooms and instructed him to get ready for bed. Rodney now lay curled up on the couch buried under a large, thick blanket, deeply entrenched in sleep.

--Rodney's Dream--

" _I'm interested about the plan you have to save the city." a strangely dressed man said, his voice eerily calm._

_Rodney felt himself open his mouth but it wasn't his voice that came out. " I never said anything about saving anything."_

_He placed his hand on his should and squeezed hard, " Not yet." _

_A large, dangerous looking knife appeared and he somehow knew what was about to happen. _

_Another scene flashed in front of him. John is standing inside a transporter, his arms folded against his chest, his eyes cold and unnerving. _

_He was speaking again, "… __I would hate to think that recent events might have permanently dimmed your faith in my abilities, or your trust. At the very least, I hope I can earn that back."_

" _That may take a while." John said coldly. _

_Rodney felt a coldness go through him, " I see."_

_What John said next both gave him hope and crushed it, " But, I'm sure you can do it, if you really wanna try."_

_Another scene, this time he's strapped to a bed and staring up at Carson._

" _Please, just give me a little enzyme…just enough to take the edge off. I'm dying here."_

_Carson spoke to him quietly, " I told you, we don't have any."_

" _You think I don't know you're lying?" he said furiously._

" _I'm not lying." Carson said calmly. _

" _You are. You think I don't think you are but you are. And don't think I won't forget it…" he trailed off, confused at what he had just said._

_Carson looked confused to, " What?"_

_Rodney started sobbing, everything becoming to much, " I don't know! Just kill me."_

---End Dream--

Rodney shot up, a scream dying on his lips. He sat there shaking, he couldn't get what he'd seen out of his head. He had tears running down his face. He didn't hear Ronon run out of his room.

" McKay what happened? Did something happpen?" he asked, kneeling down in front of him. Ronon had woken up to Rodney screaming and had rushed out to see him sitting up, sobbing.

Without any warning Rondey launched himself at Ronon and cried into his shoulder. Ronon seemed surprised and hesitantly raised his arms to rub his back.

" Shh. Calm down Rodney. Take deep, slow breaths." he said calmly. He continued speaking calmly and slowly Rodney started to calm down. Ronon sat down on the couch and pulled Rodney onto his lap.

" What happened?" he asked a while later after Rodney had fully calmed down.

" It was a nightmare. It was like it was me but it didn't sound like me. John was there and so was Carson and another man I don't know. John was saying I had to earn back his trust if I really wanted it and I was asking Carson to kill me." Rodney said.

" Everything is fine Rodney. John trusts you and you were really sick when what happened with Carson happened. Everything is fine now." Ronon continued to rub comforting circles on Rodney's back. " Here you need to go back to sleep."

He made to lift him off of his lap but Rodney clung on to his sleep shirt, " Please don't leave me. I'm scared."

Ronon looked down at him and Rodney was looking up at him with wide, bright blue eyes. Finally Ronon nodded, " Just until you fall asleep. Then I'm going to go back into my own room."

" Thank you Ronon." said Rodney.

Ronon picked up Rodney's blanket, which had fallen onto the floor earlier, and wrapped it around Rodney. He curled up into Ronon's side and slowly fell asleep. He finally had people who cared about him and what happened to him. Ronon sat there, watching for any signs that Rodney was haing a nightmare. Eventually he fell asleep, his arm wrapped protectively around Rodney's small form.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Ronon woke up the next morning with a sore neck and a numb arm. He realized that he must have fallen asleep shortly after Rodney had. Speaking of Rodney, he looked down and immediatel noticed something was different.

He immediately noticed that the body lying next to him seemed heavier then the night before. He looked down and saw that the boys hair had gone from a dirty blonde to a sandy brown color. Ronon knew instantly what had happened and he reached over to the table for his radio.

" Dr. Beckett?"

" Ronon did something happen? Is it Rodney?" Carson asked., worry filling his voice.

" It's Rodney. I think he has aged." Ronon said softly, though Rondey showed no hint of waking up.

" I'll be right there." Carson said shortly.

Ronon turned his radio off and carefully extracted himself from Rodney and quickly went into his room to change. He came out a ten minutes later, dressed and with his hair pulled back. Rodney was still sleeping, though Ronon wasn't completely surprised by that, he'd had a rough night.

Twenty minutes later Carson arrived with a stretcher and a nurse. John, Teyla and Elizabeth were following close behind. Carson and John lifted Rodney up onto the stretcher and took him straight to the infirmary.

**30 minutes later**

For the second time in three days John, Teyla, Ronon and Elizabeth were sitting in the waiting room awaiting news on Rodney. Luckily they didn't have to wait long because 30 minutes after they had arrived Carson came out with a small smile.

" He's fine." Carson said. " It seems he's aged between four and six years, making him somewhere between twelve to fourteen. I'm going to want to give him a full exam when he wakes but other then that he appears to be perfectly healthy." he grinned at them. " Though it appears that now he once again has nothing to wear."

" I can get him a pair of sweats and a t-shirt." John said. " That should last him."

" Can we see him Carson?" asked Elizabeth

" Yes. Of course." Carson said, he led them towards the back of the infirmary where Rodney was once again staying.

Rodney was sitting up when they rounded the corner and was looking around confused. He looked up at them as they entered and then quickly looked away. John was struck by how similar that movement was to when he first saw them after being turned into an eight year old. He took that moment to take in Rodney's appearance. His dirty blonde hair had darkened and was now a light sandy brown and hung into his eyes. He was thin and gangly, looking like most boys who were on the verge of puberty.

" Hello Rodney." Carson said. " Do you remember who we are?"

Rodney looked up at all of them, " I spent some time with you when I was eight." He was silent for a moment. " I aged didn't I? Dr. Heightmeyer told me a little bit about it."

" How old are you Rodney?" asked Elizabeth.

" I turned twelve two months ago?" Rodney said.

" For you it's been four years but for us Rodney you were eight yeas old just yesterday." explained Carson.

" Do I have any clothes to wear or are you going to make me wear these scrubs?" Rodney asked, with his patented smirk on his face. He seemed to ignore what Carson had just told him.

" I'll get you some sweats and a t-shirt," John told him. " But first I think Carson is going to give you a check up."

Rodney scowled at him and reluctantly followed Carson.

" Why do I get the feeling that Rodney as a twelve year old isn't going to be as easy to watch as an eight year old Rodney." John said, as he watched how Rodney interact with Carson.

" Because he probably won't be." Ronon said.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

They were right about Rodney. When John returned with a change of clothes and a pair of boots Rodney was sitting impatiently on him self appointed bed, waiting for him. He took the offered clothes with a sarcastic, " Took you long enough.", before he hopped off the bed and went into the and went into the bathroom to change. Rodney came out of the bathroom the same time Carson returned with the test results.

" Good new Rodney. Your healthy and free to go." Carson smiled at him.

" Duh. I could have told you that." Rodney grumbled and walked over to Teyla and Ronon.

" There's more isn't there?" John asked once Rodney was out of hearing range.

" Aye." Carson replied. " He's still a wee bit underweight but nearly as much as he was in comparison to yesterday. A few good meals and he will be where he should be."

John nodded, " I'll make sure he eats Carson."

" Bring him back after dinner for a blood sugar test."

John nodded and walked over to his teammates. " We need to go and see Elizabeth. She said she wanted to see you after Carson was done."

They walked to the control center, Teyla, John and Ronon talking quietly with each other as Rodney walked in front of them. He kept silent the whole way, taking everything in and memorizing the route they took. They reached Elizabeth's office and saw her sitting behind her desk, working on her computer. She looked up when John rapped his knuckles against the door frame.

She smiled, " Come in."

All four came in and took seats in front of her desk.

" How are you feeling Rodney?" she asked, looking at him gently.

" I feel fine." he said shortly.

" I'm glad. It must have been a strange experience to wake up and suddenly be in the infirmary, after seemingly not being there in four years." she said.

He nodded, he couldn't help but agree. " It's been a little weird." he admitted reluctantly. " But I don't need to go see Heightmeyer. I already know I'm a screw up. Don't need her telling me to."

They all looked at him surprised, who had been telling him he was a screw up. It hadn't crossed their minds to have him see Heightmeyer, at least not immediately. They wanted him to readjust before going and seeing her.

" Rodney," said Teyla. " None of us are going to make you see Dr. Heightmeyer. It's your choice and your alone."

" Yeah Rodney." agreed John. " Unless you give us a reason to think that you need to see her, you won't."

Rodney glared at them. " That's what you say now." he looked at them all distrustfully.

" Rodney can you go wait out in the hall for a bit." asked Elizabeth. " I need to talk to John, Teyla and Ronon alone."

Rodney huffed in annoyance but left the room with a quiet, " Yeah more like talk about me." He sat down on a bench on the opposite wall and started into her office.

" I know in light of recent events that I've suspended your gate activity but I need you take a jumper and go check out the planet that Major Lorne's team went to before this all started." requested Elizabeth.

" What about McKay?" Ronon looked back at the bench Rodney was now lying down on. " Do we go without him?"

"I don't think taking a child off world is a good idea." Teyla said.

" It's a simple trade agreement. Major Lorne reported that they seemed to be in favor of trading with us. I was going to have you go there before this all started but until now I felt you were unable to go. Since Rodney is comfortable with others besides yourselves I see no reason to keep you from going off world." explained Elizabeth. " You'll only be gone for a day two at most."

" We'll do it." answered John. " Rodney can spend the day with Radek."

" Good report to the gate at 0800 hours tomorrow morning."

They stood up and said their goodbyes. Rodney sat up when he saw them.

" So who am I being shuffled to tonight?" Rodney asked, as they walked to the mess hall.

" You'll be staying with me tonight. Tomorrow we have to on a mission so you'll be spending it with Radek down in the labs." John told the preteen.

" Why can't I go with you?" asked Rodney. " I won't be any trouble. I swear. Please can I go?"

John put a hand on his shoulder and shook his head " Sorry Rodney but it wouldn't be safe for you to go off world, even for something as simple as a trade negotiation. You'll have fun in the labs I promise."

Rodney glared at them but kept silent himself from saying anything else. They gathered their trays and say down at a free table. They rest of the day was spent in the gym, where Rodney watched the three of them take turns beating each other up. Dinner was once again a loud affair, with people once again starring at Rodney. He had vague memories of the same thing happening when he was eight so he just did the same thing he had done then. He simply ignored them.

After a quick trip to visit Carson, John led them back to his rooms. A pair of hospital scrubs would once again serve as pajamas, he rolled his eyes when he saw them. One would think that they would be able to find something a little more suitable but at least they had been nice to him so far. He quickly got ready for bed and fell asleep on John's couch.

John waited for Rodney to fall asleep before going to bed himself. From what Ronon said Rodney had suffered from a violent nightmare the night before. From what Ronon had told him, the boy had dreamed about the events involving Kolya and his brief time in control of Atlantis, talking to John after Duranda and his withdrawal from the enzyme. He hoped that his friend was able to get a full night's sleep.

**4 Hours Later**

John had been asleep for about four hours, when he was awaken by a loud scream from the main room. He jumped out of bed and raced into the main room and saw Rodney sitting up, his knees were pulled up to his chest and his arms were wrapped around them, he was staring blankly in front of him.

John knelt down so he was looking up at Rodney's face, " Rodney? It's John, are you with me?"

Rodney's eyes slowly moved down until he was looking directly into John's.

" Rodney was it a nightmare?" John asked gently.

He gave a barely perceptible nod but still didn't say anything.

" What was it about? Can you tell me?"

Rodney didn't say anything right away and the silence seemed to stretch out. John was about to ask him again when Rodney finally started talking.

" We we're in the woods. You and Teyla were standing in front of me. You had a gun pointed at me. I tried to get you to stop but you shot me. I could feel it, it was so real. I felt the bullet hit me. It hurt so bad I thought I was dying." Rodney didn't even care that he had started crying. He looked up at John, his eyes wide and tear filled. " These nightmares aren't just nightmares, there memories. You really did shoot me."

John stood up and sat down next to Rodney. He raised his hand as if to place it on his knee but stopped when Rodney flinched at the movement.

" You're right Rodney, your nightmares are really memories. They all really happened and I really did shoot you but you have to understand something first. We were all under the influence of a device and we suffered illusions of events that weren't really happening." John explained.

Rodney finally looked John in the eyes. " Does that mean you didn't mean to shoot me?"

He raised his hand again and when Rodney didn't flinch at the movement he put it on his knee.

" Rodney I would never try and purposefully hurt you. What happened that day wasn't anyone's fault and I'll try to make sure that it never happens again."

" Promise?" whispered Rodney.

John gave a small smile, " I promise."

Rodney smiled back and leaned his head back against the arm rest.

John noticed, " Do you need me to stay with you until you fall back asleep?"

Rodney shook his head, " I don't need anyone to stay with me. No one ever does anyway."

John noticed how Rodney had hesitated before talking, " I think I'll stay. You never know if your going to have another nightmare."

John moved over to the chair and started reading the mission report from the planet Major Lorne went to and his team would be going to tomorrow. He looked over at Rodney and saw that he was still awake.

" It's okay Rodney. I'm not moving." John smiled and went back to the report.

Rodney closed his eyes and let the sound of rustling papers lull him to sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

Here is the third chapter everyone. I'm so happy that you all like this story, at first I didn't think anyone would. So far you have all proved me wrong.

Once quick thing before we get started. I got a review asking how Rodney could jump from 8 years old to 12 years old so quickly, especially right after he had a nightmare. I kind of thought of it this way. At this point in his life Rodney hadn't really been shown much affection or attention from his parents. So when John, Teyla, Ronon, Elizabeth and Carson start paying attention to him and show that they care about him as an individual he realizes that not everyone is going to treat him like his parents did. The same thought was also what was behind the gate room scene with Radek and Lorne, both men taking time out of their days to willingly spend time with Rodney.

Also for the purpose of this story Kavanagh is still stationed in Atlantis, mostly because he's the only one who really had a problem with Rodney.

So I hope that clears some things up. I forget that what I'm trying to say doesn't always come out so clearly. I'm working on it though. Remember to Read and Review. Enjoy.

* * *

Rodney stood next to Elizabeth the next morning, waving good-bye to his teammates as they stepped through the gate. Radek who had been watching the monitors stood and made his way over to Rodney's side.

" They will be back before you know it. I have something in the lab for you so you don't get bored." Radek said.

Rodney grinned at him and waved good-bye to Elizabeth before he grabbed Rodney's hand and pulled him out of the gate room. Rodney got to the nearest transporter before he realized that he didn't know where the lab was. Radek couldn't help but smile and he pushed the dot nearest to the lab. Once they emerged from the other transporter it was just a quick walk to the lab.

Rodney looked around the lab, impressed at what he saw. All the different computer councils and Ancient devices, he could keep himself occupied for hours.

" You'll be working here. I've set up a dozen simulations for you to try out." explained Radek. " I'll be working around the lab. If you need help don't hesitate to call, I'll be more then happy to help you."

Rodney nodded, his attention already on the simulations. Radek shook his head and went back to working on the few ongoing experiments he had going on. The next two hours were spent with in relative silence. Radek would check on Rodney's progress every half hour or so and saw that he was making good progress, he'd already completed three of the simulations and was well on his way to finishing the fourth.

Three hours had almost past when Radek got a call over his radio. Some of the junior scientists needed his help in one of the of the small labs on the other side of the city.

" Will you be fine here by yourself?" he asked Rodney. John had placed the boy in his care and he wanted to make sure Rodney was fine with being alone for a few hours.

" Yeah. I want to finish these simulations first." Rodney said, without looking up from his laptop.

Radek set a radio down beside the laptop. " If you need anything, just put this in your ear and press the side. Talk into it and just say my name. I will immediately respond. Please don't leave the lab and if you have to call either myself or Drs. Weir or Beckett."

Rodney nodded absently, not really paying a lot of attention but hearing what was being said.

Radek grabbed his PC tablet and left the lab, leaving Rodney to his own devices. He would only be gone an hour or two. How much trouble could Rodney get into in that short amount of time in the first place.

* * *

Rodney had been in the lab alone for about thirty minutes when the doors suddenly opened and a man he had never met before walked in. He looked up from the computer and took in the mans appearance. He had shoulder length brown hair, that was pulled back into a ponytail. He wore the standard uniform for a scientist, dark blue pants with a matching jacket, that had two lighter blue patches on either side with a matching light blue shirt underneath.

" Who are you?" asked Rodney.

The stranger spun around so he was facing him and glared at him. " I'm Dr. Kavanagh and you shouldn't be in here. Who knows what you could touch and break with your idiotic tendencies. Where are you supposed to be?"

Rodney glared at him. " I'm where I'm supposed to be _Doctor_." he said condescendingly. " Dr. Zelenka told me to stay here."

Kavanagh simply sneered, " I'm sure he did. Well I'm telling you to leave. I have important work to do here and I don't need you getting in my way."

" I won't be in your way." Rodney said indignantly. " I already told you Dr. Zelenka told me not to leave. Did you hear me the first time or are you just stupid or something."

" I am not stupid you little brat." Kavanagh said angrily, causing the boy to flinch away from him. " I am the best scientist on Atlantis and when I tell you to leave I mean it. I don't care if Zelenka told you to stay here, I'm telling you to leave so I don't have to hear your annoying voice any longer. Now go."

Rodney ran out of the lab, tears streaming down his face, leaving the radio Radek had given him behind. He ran down the halls, not paying attention to where he was going. He ran down the halls, ignoring the startled looks he received from the people he passed. Ten minutes later he found himself on a balcony facing the ocean. He sat down against the wall and realized how screwed up him running away was. He had left the radio back in the lab and couldn't remember half the turns he took to end up here, so he couldn't find his own way back.

He knew that when he was found everyone would realize just how much of a screw up he really was. Everything Kavanagh had said had brought back memories of what his mom and dad would say to him whenever they thought he screwed up.

Rodney had been so caught up with his thoughts that he never noticed someone walking up behind him.

" Rodney?"

Rodney turned his head and saw Carson was standing behind him. He noticed that Carson looked worried. Rodney turned his back to him, hoping he'd get the hint and go away. He didn't. Carson sat down beside him.

" Can't you take a hint?" Rodney asked. He tried to sound rude so Carson would leave him alone. " I don't want you here. Just leave him alone."

" I can't do that Rodney." Carson answered. " Can you tell me what has ye so upset? I was coming to check up on you only to see you running past like there's no tomorrow."

Rodney wiped his face dry, " I don't want to talk about it okay. Just drop it alright."

He knew the doctor was just trying to help him but he didn't want his help. Rodney didn't know why he let himself get so worked up over what Kavanagh had said to him anyway. His parents had said worse to him and he didn't go running off like a baby.

Carson gave him a hard look, " I won't just drop it, Rodney. Something must have happened. Was it something someone said or did? I was under the impression that you would be with Radek all day until the Colonel and his team returned."

Carson had been watching Rodney closely as he'd talked and noticed the grimace that crossed his face when he'd asked if it was something some said.

" So it was something someone said." Carson said, looking at him knowingly. " Will you tell me who it was?"

Rodney shook his head, refusing to look at Carson.

" Why not?" asked Carson.

Rodney was silent for a while before he finally whispered," I don't want to cause any problems."

" Alright, I'll let it drop for now." Carson hesitantly agreed. " Are you hungry?"

" A little bit." answered Rodney.

Carson smiled at him, " Come on we'll go down to the mess hall for an early lunch." He stood up and held out his hand for Rodney to take and he grinned when Rodney accepted his help with no hesitation.

As they walked Carson radioed Radek and told him he had Rodney. Radek seemed to sense that there was something Carson wasn't saying but decided to pursue it later. He said he would meet them for lunch.

* * *

The rest of the afternoon passed with Rodney spending it with Radek back in the lab. He'd been a little anxious about going back but figured that if Radek was with him, Kavanagh wouldn't come back and bother him. John, Teyla and Ronon returned just before dinner. When Radek told Rodney that they would come to him after they got checked out by Carson, Rodney decided to go to them himself. Rodney was halfway down the hallway by the time Radek caught up to him.

Rodney entered the infirmary and walked right over to the beds where John, Teyla and Ronon were sitting.

" Hi everyone." Rodney smiled at them.

Radek chose that moment to walk into the infirmary, looking flustered and out of breath.

John raised an eyebrow, " You okay there Radek?"

Radek nodded, " I am fine. Rodney got away from me. He is faster then he looks. I'm glad to see he made it here."

John looked over at Rodney who was looking down at his shoes. He couldn't help but grin, he'd done the same thing more then once as kid when he was in trouble with his parents.

" Rodney look at me." John instructed. Rodney hesitantly raised his head and looked John in the eye. " You shouldn't have run ahead of Radek like that. You could have easily taken a wrong corner or entered the wrong room. Next time just be patient."

" Okay I will." Rodney agreed, he turned to look at Radek. " Sorry."

Radek smiled and ruffled Rodney's hair. " It's okay. Just don't do it again."

" Did you have a good time while we were off world." Teyla asked.

Rodney hesitated a moment. " Yeah. It was fine."

They all noticed his hesitation but decided not to call him n it.

" Did you do anything interesting?" she asked.

Rodney smiled, " Radek set up some simulations on one of the laptops and those were really fun. Can we go get dinner now, I'm really hungry."

John laughed, " Sure buddy. I'm really hungry to."

" As am I." agreed Teyla.

Ronon simply nodded and stood up from the bed he'd been sitting on. Carson choose that moment to walk out of his office and smiled at Rodney and Radek.

" Your clear to leave." Carson said.

" Thanks Doc. We were just headed to dinner, want to join us?" John asked.

" Sure."

Soon the large group was making their way towards the mess hall. John kept Rodney entertained by telling him about the mission.

* * *

John walked through the halls to the infirmary. He'd noticed the minute that Rodney had walked into the infirmary that something wasn't right. He'd noticed the way that Rodney hesitated answering Teyla when she asked how his day was. He'd been told by Carson that Rodney had disappeared briefly that afternoon after Radek had left him in the lab.

John entered the infirmary and walked back to where Carson's office was. He was glad to see that the light was on and Carson was sitting behind his desk. The door was open and John knocked lightly. Carson looked up and motioned him in. John sat down and waited for Carson to finish his reports.

" What do you need John?" Carson asked.

" I wanted to talk to you about Rodney." John told him. " What happened to him this afternoon? I know you told us that he'd run off but u never told us why."

" I don't know why he ran off. I was walking to the lab to check on him for Radek when he ran past me." Carson explained, " I only got a brief glimpse on him but I noticed he was crying. I followed him to a balcony. He wanted me to leave but I told him no. he admitted that someone said something to him."

" Did he tell you who did it?" John hoped he did.

Carson shook his head. " No he didn't. Said he didn't want to cause any problems."

John scoffed, " Rodney not wanting to cause problems. That's a first."

Carson chuckled, " Aye it is. Who is Rodney staying with tonight?"

" Teyla. She offered and he accepted." John said. " Do you think Rodney will tell us who upset him?"

" Probably not." Carson told him. " Rodney has a nasty habit of keeping those kinds of things to himself."

John stood up, " Thanks for telling me what happened Carson."

" You're welcome John. I should tell you that whatever Rodney was told it's going to effect him. If we go by what the database says, Rodney is probably suffering from emotional and verbal abuse."

" I'll keep that in mind doc. Night." John said and walked to the door.

" Night John."

* * *

" _You're worthless, you little brat." Doug McKay shouted at his nine year old son. " I wish your mother and I had agreed to get rid of you when we had the chance."_

_Rodney wrapped his arms around himself as it to block out the harsh words coming from his father. He hated it when he got like this and it happened often._

" _All you were was an accident. Your mother and I were happy until you came along and screwed everything up for us. I wanted to get rid of you but your mother insisted on giving you a chance. I should have insisted she give you up. Your nothing but a pain in our asses."_

_Rodney allowed the tears to fall and tired hopelessly to block out his fathers words. _

" _Just get out of my sight. I don't want to see you for the rest of the day and if I do," Doug pulled Rodney close until they were face to face. " I'll make sure you regret it you worthless piece of shit."_

Rodney shot up, the blankets falling to the floor, a cry catching in his throat. He looked around the room in fear, expecting his dad to suddenly pop up and start yelling at him again. He looked across the room to where Teyla was sleeping, she obviously hadn't heard him. Rodney was almost wished she had heard him so she could comfort him like Ronon and John did. On the other hand he was also glad she had continued sleeping, he didn't want to hear her call him a nuisance.

He gathered the blankets from the floor and walked over to the window seat and large window. He settled himself down on the seat and cocooned himself in the warm blankets and focused his eyes on the stars. They had always been there for him when no one else was and he was grateful for that. He let is head rest against the cool glass and spent the rest of the night staring up at the stars.

* * *

" How long do you suppose he's been there?"

" A few hours at least. He probably had a nightmare sometime last night."

Rodney shifted and hoped whoever was talking would stop. He listened closer to what they were saying and realized that it was John and Teyla who were talking. He cracked open an eyelid and saw John and Teyla standing above him.

" Will you two please stop talking. I'm trying to sleep here." Rodney mumbled as he attempted to roll over only to be stopped by the window. So instead he buried his head further into the blankets.

John and Teyla smiled at each other. The adult Rodney did much of the same thing on off world missions they were forced to stay over night at.

" Come on Rodney. Breakfast is nearly over with and I know you won't want to miss it." John bribed as a way of getting Rodney to wake up.

Slowly a face emerged from the bundle of blankets followed by the rest of Rodney. John was able to get a close look and saw that he'd been right, Rodney probably did have a nightmare the night before.

" What time is it?" asked Rodney as he blinked the sleep from his eyes.

" It's about nine." answered John. He held out a fresh pair of clothes. Rodney took them with a whispered thank-you.

" You may use the bathroom to get ready." Teyla said and pointed to the correct door.

Twenty minutes later Rodney came out showered and in his clean clothes.

" I'm ready. Let's eat."

* * *

The next two days passed with little progress being made involving Rodney and helping him with his condition. It was like they had hit a road block in trying to help Rodney come to terms with the abuse he'd suffered. It had only taken another two nightmares before the lack of sleep started affecting Rodney during the day. John had finally had enough and forced Rodney to go see Kate to see if she could help him.

_**Flashback**_

_Kate looked at the preteen sitting before her. She had to admit that John had been correct when he told her that Rodney looked horrible. All John had been able to get out of him was that in two nights Rodney had only gotten about six hours of sleep in total. She could see it on the boys face, his eyes were blood shot and he had darkening circles under his eyes. _

" _Colonel Sheppard says that you haven't been sleeping well." Kate said. _

_Rodney shrugged, not really wanting to talk about what he saw in his dreams or nightmares. _

" _Do you know why you can't sleep?" Kate tried again. She wanted to try to get Rodney to talk to her. Talking about his nightmares would help him overcome them._

_Rodney started to shake his head before he hesitantly nodded it._

_Kate mentally breathed a sigh of relief, they were getting somewhere._

" _Can you tell me why?" _

_Rodney hesitated before finally answering, " I've been having nightmares. A few a night. Usually I give up on sleep and just watch the stars until who ever I'm staying with wakes up. John questioned me the second time he found me awake. Now whenever I hear someone moving around I just pretend to be asleep." _

" _What are your nightmares about?" she asked him. " Is it about your time here on Atlantis?"_

_Rodney shook his head. _

_Kate realized what be was having nightmares about, " Are you having nightmares about your family?"_

_Rodney's head shot up, surprise written clearly on his face. He looked like a deer caught in the headlights of a car. He didn't want to talk about this anymore. _

_Kate asked again, " Rodney, are you having nightmares involving your family?"_

" _Yes." he whispered._

" _Can you tell me what happens in them?" she asked. _

" _I don't like thinking about them."_

_Kate reached her hand across and grasped Rodney's in her own. " Rodney if you don't want to talk to me I will understand. Listen to me though, you have to talk to somebody, it isn't healthy for you to keep everything bottled up like this. Your not only hurting yourself but those around you. If these nightmares your having are obviously causing you to lose sleep, then that shows just how much they are affecting you. Talk to Carson or John or any of the number of people who care about you."_

_Rodney listen as she talked to him and knew she was right. He wanted so badly to talk to someone but every time he tried he wondered if they thought he was just being stupid and he didn't want to feel that._

" _I dream about my dad." Rodney said. " He's yelling at me and insulting me. He calls me worthless and says that he and my mother should have gotten rid of me when they'd had the chance. He says I'm nothing more then a pain in the ass." Rodney wiped the tears, that had unknowingly started to fall, away. " I'm nothing more then a mistake."_

_Kate looked at him, she had to fight against her own tears. She knew that Rodney had been verbally and emotionally abused but she never thought it had been this bad. _

" _Rodney your father was wrong. He should have never said those things to you. Your not a mistake and you are certainly not worthless. If your parents had gotten rid of you then you never would have come to Atlantis and would have never been able to help us save the city."_

_Rodney was crying by the time she finished speaking. Kate silently handed him a tissue and turned her attention away from him so he could a small bit of privacy as he dried his face. After he finished and had pulled himself together Kate turned back to him. _

" _We're done for today Rodney. Why don't I take you down to the mess hall. That's where John said he'd be waiting for us." _

_**End Flashback**_

It was three days after his meeting with Kate and Rodney was currently making his way from Radek's lab up to the control room to meet Teyla for lunch. His thoughts were scattered, they had been for nearly five days. He'd had to sit through more speeches from everyone in the past few days then any other time in his past. Everyone had been telling him that what his parents had been telling him wasn't true. John, Teyla, Ronon and Carson had all made sure he knew how important he was to not only the expedition but to them as well.

He'd taken Kate's advise about talking to someone and slowly started telling his friends about what his father said to him. He'd talked to Carson that morning about what he went through, to embarrassed to go to anyone else and he was surprised at how better he felt after talking to Carson.

_**Flashback**_

_Rodney walked down the hall towards the infirmary. He'd had another nightmare the night before, this time waking up Ronon halfway through the night. He was sure the man would pester him to talk about his nightmare but instead he'd simply sat down beside Rodney and offered him silent comfort. Ronon had asked if he wanted to talk to Kate about it but Rodney had said no, he'd deal with it on his own. _

_That was why he was on his way to the infirmary, to talk to Carson. He hoped that the Scottish doctor would be able to help him. He walked entered the infirmary and smiled at Kate, the nurse who had helped him when he was eight. He walked through the ward to Carson's office. He glad to see the door was slightly ajar and Carson was sitting at his desk working on something at his computer. Rodney knocked softly on the doorjamb causing Carson to look up startled. _

_He smiled when he was who it was. " Rodney. Come in." _

_Carson stood up and led Rodney to a chair. _

" _How are doing Rodney?" Carson asked. He sat in a chair next to the boy. He could tell by the look on his face that whatever Rodney had to say was important. _

_Rodney hesitated, " I've been better Carson," he rubbed the back of neck. " I had another nightmare last night."_

" _Do you need me to set up an appointment with Kate for you?" he asked, slightly confused as to why Rodney was telling him this. _

_Rodney shook his head, " No. I want to talk to you. Dr. Heightmeyer said that I needed to talk to someone about my nightmares and that I if it wasn't her then I would need to be someone else. I was hoping I could talk to you. If you aren't to busy that is."_

" _I'm not busy Rodney." Carson said. " Tell me whatever you feel comfortable with."_

_Rodney took a second to collect himself before he started talking, " I dreamt about my mom. Usually it's my dad that does all the yelling but this time it was her. I was sitting in the living room and suddenly she just appears and starts yelling at me. She tells me that she's never loved me and the only one she cares about is Jeannie. She told me that she wishes she'd gotten the abortion when she was given the chance." Rodney held back his tears. " She said she's never loved me and wishes that I'd died." _

_Carson gathered Rodney into a hug and allowed him to cry into his shirt. _

" _She was wrong Rodney." he pulled away and made sure that Rodney was looking straight at him. " It was wrong of her to tell you that. She obviously didn't realize what a wonderful boy you were or the amazing man you grow to be. You have done so many things for Atlantis and if you hadn't been here, we probably wouldn't be here either." _

_Rodney wiped his eyes, Carson's words penetrating his carefully constructed walls. _

" _If your mother said that she never loved you then she didn't deserve your love. You deserve better then that Rodney. That is what we have been trying to tell you Rodney, John, Teyla, Ronon and everyone else, we all care about you and we hate to see you suffer." _

_Rodney nodded, starting to realize just what he had here. _

" _Thank you Carson." he said sincerely._

" _Your welcome lad." Carson ruffled his hair. " Why don't you go see Radek. I believe he wanted to show you something new."_

_** End Flashback**_

He was glad that Carson was the one he'd decided to talk to. It was like he knew exactly what to say to make him feel less like the failure both his parents told him he was. That didn't mean John, Teyla and Ronon weren't a big help to him, they were. He didn't know how he would be feeling if he didn't have their support. Since he shuffled between the three of them, they knew how difficult his childhood was. At least what little he had. After every nightmare, he would wake u to one of them sitting next to him. Ronon would sit next to him offering a silent form of comfort, John would also sit next to him and recount some of the more entertaining adventures they'd had, the constant talking helped lull him back to sleep. Teyla would sit down allowing Rodney to use her lap as a pillow, he'd be wrapped up in a blanket and would listen to her as she told him stories about her people's history and her childhood. Even Radek, Elizabeth and Major Lorne took time out of their schedules to spend some time with him.

He was starting to realize just how much his friends cared for him. He looked at them like they were his surrogate family. He'd never felt the same when he was with his own family as when he was with his friends and he enjoyed every minute of it. Right before he reached the transporter he stopped suddenly as something suddenly dawned on him.

He didn't need his parents, their love or approval. He already had all that. His friends approved of him and they loved him, even if it wasn't said out loud it was there. It was under the surface but it was there.

He entered the transporter and pressed the dot nearest the control room. Rodney stepped out and walked down the corridor. About halfway down Rodney stopped, suddenly feeling strange. He was about to continue walking, when he felt his legs stiffen and he collapsed to the floor unconscious.

* * *

And the drama begins. Sorry for the long wait but I've been having to deal with school and that has been making it difficult for me to get the chance to sit down and write something that makes a little sense. Hopefully this does. Anyway I just want to say once again, thank you for the reviews and keep them coming. The drama is just beginning to unfold so stay tuned I promise it only gets worse for little Rodney and it's a while before it gets any better.

Thank You. Remember to R&R.


	4. Chapter 4

Here is the fourth chapter everyone. I'm glad that you all enjoyed the last chapter, I actually found it difficult to write. I couldn't figure out how to write the interactions between him and Kavanagh. In fact that whole portion of the chapter took nearly a week to write by itself. But for the rest of the story I know exactly what I'm going to do and where this is going to go, so I hope you all like the drama and angst because that's where I'm going.

So enough chit-chat. On with the story.

* * *

" I need two units of blood ready when we arrive." Carson shouted, " Be ready with the scanner. I want an MRI and CAT scan."

Carson spared a quick glance down at the still form laying on the gurney. It had been less then ten minutes since Rodney had been found bleeding and unconscious just feet from the transporter. Teyla had been the one who'd discovered him after he failed to meet her for lunch. She'd seen him lying on the floor and immediately radioed for help.

A few minutes later they were rushing through the infirmary doors, John, Teyla and Ronon not far behind. They were forced to stay back as Carson's team tried to stop the bleeding. The three of them watched as Rodney's shirt was cut off him, revealing his bloodied and bruised torso.

All of the activity seemed to be to much for Rodney and his eyes suddenly sprang open. He looked around, his eyes scared and panicky before he started to struggle against Carson and his team.

" Rodney," Carson said, hoping to gain his attention. " It's alright, your safe now. We're trying to help you not hurt you. I need you to calm down and stay still. If you can't do that then I'm going to have to restrain you and I don't want to do that."

Rodney, who had started to calm down a bit, grew even more agitated at the mention of restraints and began to fight twice as hard as before. John saw that nothing anyone was doing was helping and decided to try himself. He pushed pass two nurses who were holding down one of Rodney's arms and gripped his hand and gave it a squeeze.

" Rodney," said John softly, watching as panic stricken eyes found his. " It's me. John. What Carson said is true, your safe here. They're not trying to hurt you. They're trying to help you but you have to let them do their jobs. Can you do that?"

As John talked Rodney gradually calmed down. He was still tense but all the struggling coupled with the blood loss, had taken most of the fight out of him.

" John?" Rodney asked in a broken whisper.

" I'm here Rodney. Your safe." John said again.

Rodney looked up at him with teary eyes. " It hurts. Please make it stop."

Teyla and Ronon chose that moment to come and stand next to Rodney and Teyla spoke up.

" Rodney, you must let Carson help you. He can make the pain stop." Teyla said, her voice soft and soothing. She ran her fingers through his hair in a calming gesture. " You have to stop fighting him or you will only cause yourself more harm."

" Come on Rodney. I know your made of stronger stuff then this. Don't let this beat you." Ronon said. He placed his hand on Rodney's leg and gave it a gentle squeeze.

John saw Carson holding a syringe and gave a slight nod. Carson quickly inserted the needle into Rodney's arm and injected him with the sedative. Rodney blinked a few times before he succumbed to the drug.

" Thank you for calming him down you three." said Carson, he brushed Rodney's hair of his forehead. " I didn't want to restrain him, to many memories, but he was hurting himself. We're going to take him into the OR and see how bad his back is and find out what other injuries he has."

" What happened to him?" asked Teyla, her voice worried.

" This is the next stage." Carson answered.

He was about to continue when one of the nurses came up to him.

" We're ready in the OR." she said.

He nodded, " If you'll go wait out in the waiting area, I'll come out and get you when we're finished."

John, Teyla and Ronon went out and sat down in the waiting area, which was a small room off of the main infirmary.

* * *

Two hours passed and in that time Elizabeth and Radek joined in the wait. John had explained to them what had happened with Rodney and what Carson said had about physical abuse. Finally the door opened and Carson walked in, still dressed in his surgical scrubs.

" How is he Carson?" Elizabeth asked.

" He'll be fine. He's just getting into recovery, you'll be able to see him soon." he said.

" How badly was he injured?" asked Teyla.

Carson sighed, " It could have been worse. When we got him into the OR and finished removing his clothes, we found that the rest of his body was in pretty much the same condition as this back and chest. His legs were heavily bruised and there were a few slash marks on his calves and thighs. His back was the worst and it took us nearly thirty minutes to stop all of the cuts from bleeding. None of them were severe enough to need stitches but he's going to have to take it easy for awhile. When we scanned him we did find that he has a few bruised ribs so breathing is going to be even more difficult."

" How long will he have to stay in the infirmary?" asked John.

" I'll want him to stay for at least a week maybe two. Depends on how fast he heals. Once he's released he won't be allowed to do any strenuous activity for another week. After that he's free to do as he pleases."

" Carson can you tell us what caused this?" asked Elizabeth.

" Yes. He's reached the third stage, physical abuse. His injuries make it look like someone took a belt to him. He also aged around four or five years, making him sixteen or seventeen." Carson told her. " We'll know more once he wakes up."

" Can we see him now?" Radek asked, saying something for the first time since he arrived with Elizabeth.

" Yes but only one of you for now." Carson told them. " He won't be awake for a while but you can all come back later tonight or in the morning."

" John, why don't you go first." Teyla suggested and everyone else agreed.

" Alright." John stood up and so did Carson.

Before they left the room Elizabeth called out, " Tell him we all say hello and are thinking about him."

" I will." promised John and he followed Carson out f the room.

Carson led John into the infirmary and into one of the private ICU rooms. John was surprised at what he saw. Rodney lay pale and still on the bed. He was hooked up to a heart monitor and had a pulse ox clipped to his right index finger. An IV ran into the back of his hand, pumping him full of pain killers. Another IV had been inserted into his neck allowing them to give him the blood transfusion. The blanket was pulled up to his waist, allowing him to see his heavily bandaged torso. Bruises littered his face and arms and John knew if the covers were removed his legs would be heavily bruised to.

" It looks worse then it really is John. He's still sleeping off the anesthesia so it'll be awhile before he wakes up." Carson told his friend.

John turned to look at him, " How long?"

Carson sighed, " A few hours at least. He was unconscious when we took him into surgery so he could be asleep the rest of the day. Sit with him, talk to him. Let him know you're here John. Stay as long as you need. Call me if anything changes."

Carson turned and left the room, leaving John alone with the younger version of his friend. John looked around and saw a chair sitting in a corner. He pulled it over to Rodney's side and sat down. He took a moment to take in the changes Rodney had gone through since he saw him that morning. Rodney's body had grown and he appeared to be as tall as his adult self. His hair had also darkened to the more recognizable chocolate brown, though it was much longer and would probably hang down to his nose. He reached for Rodney's hand and gripped it in his own.

" Hey Rodney. It's John. Carson says you can only have one visitor for now but everyone says hi." John sighed. He wasn't good at sharing his emotions or feelings and it didn't help that the last two weeks had been especially emotional. " You really scared us today Rodney. When I heard from Teyla that she found you lying in the corridor bleeding and unconscious I thought you'd been attacked. Then I find out this is just the next stage in this whole crazy aging process. God Rodney, I wish you didn't have to go through this."

John didn't want to think about what Rodney had to have gone through to get these injuries and how often did he get them. He wasn't a psychologist but looking back now he could easily see the signs abuse that Rodney still carried even as an adult.

" I'm sorry that you have to go through this Rodney. I can't even imagine what you're going to go through but I want you to know that if you ever need someone to talk to I'm here for ya buddy."

John stopped talking and just sat there and watched Rodney, who stayed oblivious to everything around him.

* * *

**That Night**

" You can all spend ten minutes with him." Carson told the group that had assembled in his office. " He woke up about five minutes ago but fell back asleep. So try not to wake him again."

Teyla offered to go and Carson led her back to Rodney's room. She walked in quietly, not wanting to wake up Rodney. She sat down in the chair next to the bed, that John had occupied earlier. She looked him over and noticed the same things about Rodney as John had earlier. She moved her hand under his and gave it a gentle squeeze.

" Hello Rodney." she said. " You've had us all worried, you had me worried. I am not sure if John told you but I was the one who found you in the hallway. When I first saw you I was sure you were dead. Carson says you will be fine but that you will have a few difficult weeks ahead of you. You don't have to worry, we will be here to help you through it."

She sat in silence until her ten minutes were up. Before she left she bent down and placed a gentle kiss on his forehead. She walked out and went back to Carson's office, as she entered Ronon stood and walked out.

Ronon walked into Rodney's room and just stood and watched him sleep for a few minutes. He took in the pale features and thin frame and all the other differences and compared them to the Rodney from two weeks previously. While he hadn't said anything, the last two weeks hadn't been easy on him. The hardest had been the first day Rodney had left the infirmary and had stayed with him. When he'd been woken up by Rodney's screams he was sure someone had been hurting him, to find out that pain had been coming from Rodney himself made it difficult for him. He prided himself on being able to protect his friends, not being able to protect Rodney, especially when he couldn't properly defend himself, had been a major blow.

He walked further into the room and stood beside his bed. He rested his hand on Rodney's leg.

" Hey McKay. I don't know if you can hear me but I just wanted you to know that I was here." Ronon struggled with what to say next. He had never been very good at the whole emotional thing and seven years on the run didn't help him. " Teyla might have already said this but you scared us. Finding out you'd been found and it looked like you'd been attacked, made me think that once again I'd failed to protect one of my friends. When you get out of here I'm going to make sure you can properly protect yourself."

He gently squeezed his knee, " I'll see you later Rodney. Get better soon."

The next to enter was Elizabeth. She sat down in the chair and grasped Rodney's hand.

" Hello Rodney. It's me, Elizabeth. I know I haven't spent much time with you and I regret that. When I heard that you'd been injured I was sure that you'd been attacked. To find out that you had aged again and this was the result shocked me. I knew there was a possibility that you had suffered abuse I just didn't know you had suffered this badly."

She rose and stared down at Rodney's sleeping form.

" I'll be here if you need me Rodney." she whispered and placed a kiss on his forehead.

She walked out of the room allowing Radek his turn with Rodney.

The Czech closed the door but didn't go any closer to Rodney's side. He still clearly remembered the last time he'd been in the infirmary and it had been one to pleasant. He raised a hand and unconsciously rubbed over his heart, where he'd been fatally hit by a bolt of electricity only a few weeks ago. He also remembered the after math of the whole ascension machine. Rodney had nearly died as a result and Radek couldn't get over the fact that the Rodney sleeping in the bed in front of him looked eerily similar to the one he'd briefly seen those weeks ago. He spent the rest of his time silently watching Rodney sleep before he left him.

* * *

** The Next Morning**

Rodney slept through the rest of the night, not even waking up as they removed the IV from his neck. John, Ronon and Teyla had all arrived in the infirmary after they'd been radioed by Carson that Rodney showed signs of waking up soon. They walked towards Rodney's room and saw Carson standing over him and asking questions. The head of the bed had been raised so he was in am inclined position. They quietly entered the room and made sure they stood out the way. All of them noticed the way Rodney looked them over, almost like he was deciding if they could be considered a threat. He apparently decided they weren't and turned his full attention back onto Carson.

"…be in here for at least a week, depends on how you heal."

Rodney looked u at Carson, his eyes dull and lacking their usual spark of life.

" Why do I have to stay here?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

Carson sighed and sat down in the chair next to the bed and began to explain why to Rodney, " You have to stay here because you're back is going to be extremely sore and this will cause you to have difficulty walking. It will be less painful and put less of a strain on you if you stay here until they have healed more and that will take abut a week."

Rodney nodded and his eyes left Carson and settled back on John, Teyla and Ronon. Carson seemed to notice and gave Rodney a small smile.

" They've been worried about you since we found you." he stood up and walked towards the door. " I'll leave you alone for a while." As he walked past the three he whispered, " Try not to agitate him, he's still a little confused." He left the room, shutting the door behind him.

They all gathered around Rodney. Teyla took the chair while John and Ronon and sat down on the bed.

" How're you feeling buddy?" John asked, looking Rodney over with a critical eye.

" I'm alright." Rodney said softly. " How about you?"

" We've been worried about you Rodney." said Teyla.

Rodney looked at her confused, " Why would you be worried about me? I wasn't that badly injured."

They all looked at Rodney strangely after he said that. How could he think they wouldn't be worried about him, he was their friend. All they'd been the past two weeks is worried about him. He still didn't seem to realize that but John was sure that Teyla and Ronon would help Rodney realize that.

" We found you unconscious and bleeding Rodney." John told him. " We're going to be worried about you. We are always going to worried about you. Now how 'bout you tell us how you really feel."

Rodney looked down at his lap, not looking anyone in the eye. After a few minutes he finally answered.

" My back is starting to really hurt and so are my legs. They have been since before Carson left." Rodney finally looked up at them. " Can I please get something to make the pain stop?"

" Of course." John quickly stood up. He gave Rodney a quick once over and saw the slightly sweaty brow and his pale complexion. " I'll be right back."

He walked out of the room and went straight to Carson's office. The doctor was sitting behind his desk and looked up when John knocked on the door, with a little more force then necessary.

Carson looked up at him curiously. " John can I help you something?"

John nodded, " Yeah. Rodney's pain medication has apparently worn off. He was wondering if you could give him something to take the edge off."

Carson stood nodded, " I'll be right there."

John smiled in thanks and walked back to Rodney's room. He entered and saw that Rodney was lying back with his eyes closed and Teyla was talking to him quietly, while Ronon stood next to him allowing Rodney to squeeze his hand when the pain got particularly difficult. John could tell that Rodney was obviously in a lot of pain. He stood off to the side knowing that Teyla and Ronon were handling the situation just fine. He'd barely sat down in Ronon's vacant chair when Carson walked in carrying a capped syringe.

Rodney opened his eyes and gave a mental sigh of relief. Finally he was going to get some relief from the pain. Teyla moved out of the way, allowing Carson to take her place.

" Rodney before I give you any pain meds I need to know what your pain level is." Carson said. " On a scale of one to ten, how bad is it?"

Rodney squeezed Ronon's hand as a wave of pain washed through him. " Seven. Sometimes an eight." he said mumbled.

Carson nodded and quickly injected the contents of the syringe into Rodney's IV.

" This is going to make you drowsy, so you'll probably fall asleep." Carson informed, but Rodney barely heard it as his eyes were already drooping and minutes later he was deeply asleep. Even asleep his grip on Ronon's hand didn't loosen at all.

" He'll sleep the rest of the morning and afternoon. I gave him a powerful pain killer but not a large dose." Carson said, watching Rodney sleep.

" He has been sleeping a lot Carson." said John, looking at the way Rodney looked for comfort even when he was asleep. " Shouldn't he be awake more?"

Carson shook his head. " No. Sleeping will do him some good and help him heal faster. You should all go and get something to eat and I'll radio you as soon as he wakes up."

" All right." John agreed and pushed off from the wall. Teyla and Ronon followed, after Ronon loosened Rodney's grip on him.

Carson busied himself with fixing Rodney's blankets. He took a minute to take in Rodney's appearance, which had improved marginally overnight. Bruises still littered his face and his complexion had gone from a sickly gray to a pale white. A small improvement but an improvement none the less. Bags still had a permanent place under his eyes. He knew the next few days would be crucial in gaining Rodney's shattered trust and knew that the smallest mistake could destroy any hope of helping him. He quietly left the room to allow Rodney get his well deserved rest, the next few days were going to be exhausting for him.

* * *

Not one of my better chapters but at least it sets up for the next few chapters so it can't be all bad. It's also one of my shortest in the story but again, oh well. Remeber to Read and Review.


	5. Chapter 5

I'm going to keep this short and I just want to say thank you for all the support you've given me I really appreciate it. Here is the next chapter everyone. I hope you like it an remember to Read and Review.

* * *

Rodney took a deep, slightly painful breath enjoying the quiet that his brief time alone brought. He'd been in the infirmary for the past five days, spending most of those asleep, and this was the first time he'd been allowed anywhere other then his bed or the bathroom. Of course it was only the infirmary's balcony and he was confined to a wheelchair but at least it was a chance to get away from everyone. That's what he wanted more then anything, a chance to alone and not have to be around John, Teyla, Ronon or anyone else. The five days he'd been in bed had been a nightmare. He'd had almost no time alone, even at night. He would wake up and see either John, Teyla, Ronon or Carson sitting in a chair next to his bed.

He was pulled out of his musings by the sound of the door sliding open, he turned around expecting to see one of his watchers standing there but was surprised to see Major Lorne instead. The last time he'd seen the man he'd physically been eight years old but apparently that had only been a little over two weeks ago.

" Major Lorne, what are you doing here?" he asked, curious as to why he'd decided to come visit him.

Lorne walked over and sat down in the chair that had been brought out days earlier.

" I just returned from off world. Our mission took longer then we thought it would and I just heard about what happened to you." he said. " So how are you doing?" He noticed the dark shadows that were around Rodney's eyes and coupled with his pale skin, gave him a slightly raccoon look.

Rodney gave him a small smile, that looked more like a grimace, " I'm feeling better then I was. It still hurts if I move around to much but Carson says it'll get better. He might even release me as soon as this afternoon."

Lorne grinned at him. " You must be anxious to get out of here?"

Rodney nodded, " After being stuck in here for five days wouldn't you want to get out?"

" Yeah. I'd be ready to leave after one. Has Colonel Sheppard been keeping you company?" Lorne asked, sure that his CO would be spending most of his time in the infirmary with his injured teammate.

Rodney suddenly looked slightly annoyed, " Yeah, he has. So have Teyla, Ronon and Carson. They've all been keeping me company. All the time. Even at night."

Lorne noticed the annoyance in his the teens voice and wondered what that was about. " You don't sound very happy about that."

" It's not that I'm not happy or grateful for what they are doing. I just don't ever have anytime to myself." Rodney explained. " It seems like wherever I go someone is with me, usually John or Carson. Teyla and Ronon are a little more aware of when I need to be alone but even they always seem to be here. I feel like they're suffocating me. Always asking how I feel or if I'm in any pain. I just want to tell them to leave me alone, even if it's for just a few hours. Today was the first time I've been left alone for longer then a few minutes."

" That must be difficult to deal with but they're just doing it because they are worried about you. It's been difficult for them to watch you go through all of this." He stood up and patted Rodney gently on the shoulder. " You should be telling them all of this."

Rodney looked up worried, " What if they get mad at me? I don't want them to become mad at me. I know they're doing it just because they care but it's still a little suffocating."

" I believe it. I'd feel like that to if I was in your position but you have to tell them. They'd want to know. They won't get mad. I promise." With that last thought Lorne gave his shoulder a final squeeze and left, leaving Rodney with his thoughts.

**That Afternoon**

Rodney was sitting on his designated bed in the infirmary listening to Carson's instructions on what he was allowed and not allowed to do. He was only half paying attention to what the doctor was saying and Carson seemed to realize this.

" Are you even listening to me Rodney?" asked Carson.

Rodney looked down embarrassed, " Sorry Carson."

" It's alright. I know that this isn't the most exciting part but it's important that you know this. You are going to have to take it easy for the next few days, your ribs are still tender and that's going to make deep breathing tough. Please nothing strenuous or to tiring, your body is still healing. So take it easy." Carson told him again. He reached down under Rodney's bed and pulled out a bag of clothes. " John dropped these off while you were out on the balcony this morning. Get changed and I'll radio John to tell him that your ready."

Rodney gave a small hesitant smile and headed to the bathroom, the bag clutched in his hands.

Carson watched him leave, he may be healing physically but he was sure that Rodney had a long way to go before he was mentally okay. If he ever was.

He made to turn on his radio when John came walking in.

" He ready to go yet?" John asked, looking around for the teenage Rodney.

" He just went to the bathroom to change. What are your plans this afternoon?" Carson asked.

" It's time to make another run to the Athosian settlement and I was hoping that Rodney would want to come. I'd even let him pilot the jumper on the way home. If he'd like to." explained John.

" If I'd like to what?"

John and Carson turned around and saw Rodney standing in the doorway. He walked into the infirmary and sat the bundled up scrubs on a bed. He was once again dressed in all black. He had on a short sleeve cotton t-shirt and a pair of black pants John had swiped from a spare military uniform.

John gave grinned at him, " It's time to make another supply run to the Athosians and I was just wondering if you would wan to come along. I'd even let you pilot the jumper on the way home."

" Can I Carson?" Rodney asked him. " Please."

" Promise not to overdo it?" he asked. " I don't want John radioing me telling me you've pushed yourself to hard and have injured yourself again."

Rodney gave him an innocent look as if to say 'Who me?' Neither John or Carson believed it.

" I promise Carson." Rodney finally told him.

" Then go."

Rodney grinned and raced out of the infirmary. John gave Carson a quick wave and followed Rodney hoping that he hadn't gotten that far ahead of him. His hopes were dashed when he didn't see Rodney in the hall. John sighed and made his way over to the nearest transporter, he could only hope Rodney didn't get lost. He made it to the jumper bay and was surprised but pleased to see Rodney already sitting outside jumper listening to Ronon and Teyla's discussion.

Rodney smiled when he saw John walk over to them.

" Hi John. What took you so long?" asked Rodney, grinning up at him.

" I walked. How did you get here so fast?" John was truly curious as to how Rodney had gotten to the jumper bay before him.

Rodney simply shrugged, " Don't know. I just did."

" The jumper is almost loaded John." Teyla told him.

" Good. Are you sure you two don't want to come with us?" John asked Ronon and Teyla.

" I promised some of the new arrivals that I'd teach them some new fighting moves." Ronon said.

" And I am meeting with Kate for a late lunch." Teyla explained.

Rodney stood up and walked to stand to beside John.

" We will see you when return." Teyla said. She gripped Rodney's shoulders and leaned over until their foreheads touched. She held them there for a few seconds before standing up straight.

Both she and Ronon walked out of the bay. Rodney gave John a strange look.

John simply shrugged, " You get used to it."

John walked into the jumper with Rodney following him. The last few boxes were placed into the back of the jumper and John quickly started up the jumper. 45 minutes later they were on their way to the mainland.

Halling was waiting for them along with some of the villagers. He greeted John and Rodney, barely raising more then an eyebrow at Rodney's sudden aging. Halling invited them back to the settlement for an early dinner and to allow Rodney a chance to interact with the other children. John accepted and he and Rodney followed the Athosians back to their settlement.

After a large dinner and a few hours of watching Rodney help teach some of the younger children how to play soccer, John decided to call it a day and get them back to the jumper before it got to dark and Rodney didn't get the chance to pilot the jumper.

As they walked back John gave a brief explanation about how to pilot the jumper and what he should look out for.

" So any questions?" asked John, once he finished his explanation

" What if I can't do it? What if I get in the pilot's seat and nothing happens ?" Rodney asked. He really was scared that he would sit down in the pilots chair and nothing would happen. He didn't want to let John down, especially after everything he'd done for him.

John gave Rodney's shoulder a gentle, comforting squeeze, " Rodney I believe in you. I know you can do it." He put his arm around his shoulders. " Do you remember the last time we came here and visited the Athosians. We were on the back to the jumper and you ran ahead of us. By the time we caught up with you, you had activated the HUD. Do you know how you did that?"

Rodney shook his head, he'd just thought everyone could do it, " I just sat down and wanted to know more about where I was. I don't think I really did anything other then that."

" Then just do that. Just trust yourself. I'll be here if anything goes wrong. I promise I won't let anything bad happen." John reassured him.

They reached the Jumper and John led Rodney inside. He steered the teen towards the pilots seat and gave him a slight push into it. Rodney looked all of the controls with wide fearful eyes.

" Trust yourself Rodney. I'll be right here." John encouraged.

Rodney closed his eyes and took a fear deep calming breaths. He looks over at John and sees him smiling encouragingly. Rodney gives a small smile back and focused all his attention on the Jumper. Suddenly it felt like there was something in the back of his mind. It felt strange but something was telling not to fight it. He embraces it and thinks about the Jumper rising up into the air. He ignores John's congratulations and continues to focus on the now floating ship. After he feels like they had reached an appropriate height he mentally nudges the Jumper back towards Atlantis. He grins when he sees the trees and soon water rush past them.

" You're doing great Rodney." John told him. " Keep it up."

Rodney smiled over at him and turned his attention back to flying.

* * *

They reached Atlantis a little over an hour later. Rodney let the autopilot take over once they reached the top entrance of the Jumper bay. They both stood up and John pulled Rodney into a one armed hug.

" Did I do alright? I'm sorry it took so long to get back I just didn't want to go faster then I was." Rodney explained, seemingly upset that he took longer then John did.

John stopped and turned Rodney so they were face to face. " Rodney, you did fine. It didn't matter that it took you longer to fly back then it took me to fly us there. That was you first time I didn't expect anything from you. You did good. I promise."

Rodney smiled, maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all.

* * *

" _MEREDITH RODNEY MCKAY! GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE NOW!" _

_Rodney winced at the sound of his fathers voice. He'd been drinking again. He always did when his mom and sister were away. Rodney carefully raised himself up from his bed, wincing as he upset his bruised ribs. He knew that if he didn't hurry then the beating would just be worse. He walked down the stairs with little problem and walked into the living room. His dad was standing in the middle of the room, a belt in one hand and a half full beer bottle in the other. Rodney gave an internal wince, he knew right then that this wasn't going to be pretty. _

" _What do want dad?" Rodney asked, hoping that if he was complacent then the beating wouldn't be as bad. _

_Doug McKay walked up to Rodney and slapped him. " Don't take that tone with me boy." _

_Rodney raised his hand to his face, hoping to sooth the burning feeling that encompassed the whole right side of his face. _

" _What tone?" asked Rodney. " All I did was ask you a simple question."_

_Doug glared at him and backhanded him, sending Rodney sprawling to the ground. He used Rodney's vulnerability to his advantage and started kicking his midsection._

" _You're a useless piece of shit. You are nothing, you got that. You're nothing but a waste of space and I wish I hadn't listened to your mother when she told me to give you a chance. I should have just done what I wanted to and left you in some alley to die." he shouted, as he continued to rain kicks down on Rodney. _

_Rodney curled up into as small a ball as he could and wrapped his arms around his head, trying to protect himself as much as he could. _

_Finally after ten minutes of being kicked Doug grew tired and started to using his belt. Rodney had known what was coming but that didn't stop him from crying out in pain. He begged for it to stop but that seemed to simply encourage his dad even more. It was another fifteen minutes before Doug had enough. _

_He bent down so his face was centimeters away from Rodney's. _

" _I hope this shows you just how worthless you are Rodney" he spat, like it left a bed taste in his mouth. " Say it."_

_Rodney glared up at him. " No." _

_Doug grabbed a fistful of Rodney's hair and yanked his head back. _

" _Say it. Tell me how worthless you really are."_

_Rodney fought to hold back the tears that suddenly sprung up in his eyes. _

" _SAY IT!" shouted Doug. _

" _I'm worthless." Rodney whispered, tears now flowing freely down his face._

" _Keep saying it." Doug whispered harshly. _

" _I'm worthless."_

" _I'm worthless."_

" Rodney wake up."

" _I'm worthless. I'm worthless."_

_He felt like someone was shaking his shoulder. He wanted it to stop, all it did was hurt. He really was worthless, he couldn't even withstand a few kicks. _

" Rodney. It's just a nightmare. Come on you can do it."

_The voice sounded familiar. He knew he'd heard it before, he just couldn't remember where. _

" _Come on Rodney wake up. It's not real. It's just a nightmare. Come on buddy."_

" I'm worthless." Rodney shot up from his bed, his breathing ragged.

He blinked a couple times, trying to clear his head of the cobwebs that seemed to have taken residence. He looked around, sure his father was going to come out and start beating him again. As he was looking he noticed that John was sitting on the edge of the couch, looking at him with a worried look.

John must have noticed how panicked he looked because he slowly raised his hands in a non threatening way.

" It's okay Rodney it's just me." he said slowly, obviously realizing that Rodney wasn't fully aware of where he was.

John saw the panicked look in Rodney's eyes and wanted to pull him into a comforting hug, much like his dad would do for him after he'd had a nightmare as a kid.

" Everything is alright Rodney. You're in Atlantis and your safe." John reassured.

He continued talking softly knowing that it would help calm Rodney down. Finally after a few more minutes of reassurances Rodney lost the cornered animal look and now simply looked embarrassed.

" I'm sorry if I woke you up." Rodney kept his eyes downcast, afraid of what he would see in John's eyes.

John lifted his hand and raised Rodney's chin, ignoring the flinch his friend gave, so he could look into his eyes.

" You didn't wake me up. I was just coming in an saw that you were having a nightmare. When I tired to wake you, you kept whispering you were worthless."

Rodney looked away in shame, he couldn't believe he'd said that out loud.

" You want to explain why you think your worthless?" John asked gently. He let go of Rodney's chin, allowing the teen look away.

" Not really." Rodney mumbled. He pulled his legs up and wrapped his arms around them.

John didn't want to push him but he also knew that whatever Rodney wasn't telling him was to important for him to keep to himself.

" I promise that once you tell someone about it ,it'll help you feel better." pushed John, hoping that it would get Rodney to talk.

Rodney glared at him. " You think talking to you about it will help. You don't know what I've been through. You can't even imagine what I've been through. What's the worst thing your parents did to you?" he asked.

John was about to answer when Rodney cut him off, " They make you stand in the corner for five minutes. You have to go to your room without dinner? I wouldn't be fed for days, until I nearly went into a hypoglycemic coma. One time I actually did. My dad hit me nearly every day. Not a smack on the butt. A solid punch to the gut. I wasn't punished, I was beaten. My dad would make me come down to the living room when it was just me and him. And that was often. He would slap me around the head until I fell to the floor where he would then proceed to kick the crap out of me. Once he got to tired for that he would take his belt to my back. After he was completely done he would make me repeat over and over again how worthless I really was."

" Rodney I'm s…"

Rodney interrupted, " Don't. Don't say your sorry." he angrily swiped at the tears that had started to fall. " I deserve everything I get. I am worthless. My dad is right to do those things to me."

Now it was John's turn to be angry. He grabbed Rodney's chin, a bit rougher then he would have liked and forced him to look up at him.

" Listen to me Rodney. You. Are. Not. Worthless. You have done so much for this city that I couldn't even begin to tell you. What your dad told you wasn't true. He said those things to make you feel like you were worthless and you are anything but."

Rodney wanted nothing more then to believe what he was being told but his dad had drilled into him that he was worthless. He gave up trying to stop tears from falling and just let them. John could see the struggle going on inside Rodney's mind and decided to throw caution to the wind. He pulled Rodney into his arms and tried to give him as much comfort as possible.

Rodney was shocked when John grabbed him into a hug. He tried to struggle out of it but that just caused John to hold on tighter. He didn't want John to be around when he finally gave into his tears.

" It's okay Rodney. Just let it out." John soothed. " It's just you and me here. No one else has to know about this. It's okay to cry. I won't tell anyone."

Rodney finally listened and let out heart wrenching sobs.

John pulled Rodney in tighter. He hated seeing his friend like this. Rodney wasn't one who usually gave into his feelings and so to see him like this made John wish he could go back and beat the living day lights out of Doug McKay.

The next few minutes were spent comforting Rodney. John could feel a wet patch on the front of his shirt but didn't pay it any attention. Ten minutes later Rodney's sobs started tapering off until they quit all together. After a few more minutes John felt Rodney's breathing even out, signaling that he'd fallen asleep. John carefully laid Rodney down and covered him with the blankets.

He stood up and made his way into his bedroom. He hoped that Rodney was able to sleep through the rest of the night. He really needed it.

* * *

*The Next Day*

" Please Elizabeth. Radek has already shown me what sections of the city are off limits. I promise not to go into any of them. I just want the chance to explore the city a little bit." Rodney nearly begged.

Elizabeth smiled at Rodney as he paced in front of her desk. She shot a glance over at John who was sitting out of the way.

" If I let you do this you have to promise me that you'll take a radio with you and keep it on at all times." Elizabeth explained. " Also John has to agree with it."

Rodney turned around to face John, " Please can I go. I promise to check in every hour and if I have any problems I'll radio you or someone else."

John looked at Rodney and knew for sure that he wouldn't be able to say no to the teen.

" Alright you can go. Just be careful." John had barely finished his first sentence before Rodney was out the door and making his way through the control center.

" You think he'll be able to stay out of trouble?" Elizabeth asked.

John grinned at her, " No."

* * *

Rodney finished exploring the control tower and wondered where he should go next. Since he only had a basic understanding of the layout of the city he decided to circle out from the central tower. While most of the interesting stuff he'd seen so far had been located in the central tower he was sure the rest of the city had to have something.

Three hours and three check ins later Rodney had finally found something worth looking at. It was a small, out of the way room that on the outside appeared inconspicuous but what it held seemed like it could be very important.

It looked like a chair of some sort and to Rodney it felt like it was calling to him. He walked further inside, the door sliding shut behind him. He slowly made his way closer to the chair wondering what it was used for. Rodney hesitated before sitting down, it's not like he could get into a lot of trouble for sitting in a chair.

The strange feeling he'd had since first waking up in the infirmary over to weeks ago seemed to intensify and he was soon swept up in a tidal wave of strange images and sensations. The physical world seemed to disappear as he struggled against all the information that seemed to want to invade his mind. He began to feel overwhelmed by it all and fear slowly began to creep its way into his mind.

Slowly the information coalesced into different systems and pathways that began to make sense. He felt his head begin to hurt and small tremors started in his limbs. Rodney knew he should get out of the chair but he wanted to know whatever he could about the city.

Suddenly it seemed like everything he wanted to know about was there for him. Life support, power readings and controls, shield schematics star drive files and control chair files. It was all there. It was like nothing existed besides him and the chair. It was then that he fully realized what it was. Atlantis. He had wound his way so deeply into the flying city that the distinction about where he ended and the chair began.

The headache which had started as a slight throb had quickly grown into a sharp, fast pounding. Through the haze of pain he thought he heard voices calling his name. He began to feel queasy and took deep breaths to calm his stomach. Despite all of this, he still wanted to delve deeper into the city but an insistent tugging in the back of his mind was trying to stop him. He fought it, not willing to or wanting to give up the amazing connection yet.

Slowly he became aware of hands on his arm and the voice was begging him to break the connection. " No," he insisted. " I'm not ready."

He'd barely finished forming the words when he felt Atlantis' presence fade from his mind. In his mind he felt her telling him he had to go, that it was a danger if he stayed. Rodney felt confused by her plea because he could sense how much she wished for him to stay.

His senses returned to him gradually and he was surprised by how much his body hurt. His limbs felt like they were on fire and he wished he knew why. Only after a gentle but persistent tap on the cheek did he realize someone was speaking to him.

" Rodney! Lad, what have you done to yourself this time? Come on Rodney, look at me. Are ye back with us?

Rodney was surprised that head felt disconnected from his body and it felt like his head was stuffed with cotton or something similar. He recognized that voice and the familiar Scottish brogue but for some reason the name escaped him. He blinked several times as the room felt the need to go in and out of focus, until finally his vision cleared and he saw six worried faces looking down at him.

" Cars'n?" he rasped, wondering why his voice suddenly didn't want to work either. He coughed and tried again, " C…Carson?"

" That's right Rodney. We're glad to se you're back with us. You had us really worried for a moment." Carson told him.

Rodney frowned but didn't feel like questioning their motives. He felt fine, a little sore but nothing a good rest and some food would cure.

He no sooner closed his eyes when he was being shaken awake. " Rodney! You can't rest right now. We need you to stay with us for just a wee bit longer. You'll be allowed to rest soon."

Rodney wanted to protest but his tongue felt like it weighed a ton and all he could manage was an incoherent mumble. Carson didn't seem to be bothered by it and continued checking him over.

" Rodney you need to let go of the chair." John instructed. " You'll feel better once you do. I promise." Rodney felt John's hand grip his and start to loosen his fingers for him.

A loud pain filled scream filled the room at the same moment that John's hand began to pry his finger loose and it took a moment to realize that the scream was coming from him. Pain like he'd never felt before flooded through him, beginning in his hands and flowing through him in giant waves through his entire body. Vaguely he could hear John, Teyla and Ronon calling his name but the pain saw to much and he didn't think he could find the strength to answer them. Black dots dances in front of his eyes and he gratefully allowed them to consume his vision. He couldn't stand the pain any longer and he sent out a mental apology to his friends and gratefully surrendered to the welcoming darkness.


	6. Chapter 6

Thanks for all of the awesome reviews everyone. I really appreciate all the wonderful feed back, it keeps my muse happy and healthy.

I'll keep this short and sweet. Keep up the wonderful reviews. That's all I have to say.

Now on with the story.

* * *

An insistent and annoying beeping was what first brought him to awareness. Next came the all too familiar smell of antiseptic. He knew then, without a doubt, that he was in the infirmary. He could hear people whispering around him but try as he might, he couldn't make out any of the words they were saying. He fought against the pull of unconsciousness; he wanted to stay awake. He didn't fully remember all of what happened to him and he wondered how long he'd been unconscious for.

"Hey, Carson, I think he's waking up," John whispered from beside him.

Rodney turned his head in the direction John's voice came from.

"Rodney. Hey buddy, can you open your eyes for us?" Rodney felt a hand gently squeeze his own.

"Come on buddy. You've been sleeping long enough."

Rodney wanted to open his eyes but they felt like they were bricks. He struggled to lift his seemingly heavy eyelids and finally succeeded in opening them. He blinked a few times, hoping to clear the blurry images that surrounded him. Finally everything came into focus. John, Teyla and Ronon were sitting on the bed next to his and Carson was standing next to him.

"Hey," he rasped, surprised to find that his voice was no louder then a whisper and his throat felt like someone was rubbing sandpaper around it.

Carson held out a cup of water with a conveniently placed straw and allowed him a few small sips before he set the cup back on the nightstand.

"Thanks." Rodney was pleased that both his voice and throat felt better.

Carson nodded and asked, "How do you feel? Are you tired? In pain?"

Now that he mentioned it, he was tired and his entire body throbbed with a dull ache.

"All of the above." Rodney whispered.

"How bad is the pain?" Carson asked.

"Not too bad." He saw their skeptical looks and added, "Really. It's just a dull ache. How long have I been here?"

"You've been asleep a little over eighteen hours. It's around nine in the morning. We found you

yesterday afternoon in the chair room." John explained. "Can you tell us what happened yesterday after you found the chair?"

Rodney wasn't sure how to describe what he felt when he sat in the chair. How did he tell them that sitting in the chair felt… right, almost like coming home in a way. What he felt when his mind was flooded with all of the information on Atlantis. How Atlantis reacted to him. Like a parent would for their child. He couldn't tell them that though, not without feeling like a fool.

"I was looking around and I found the room that the chair was in. I felt like it was calling me, like I was supposed to be there. I sat down and it was…" Rodney trailed off. He wasn't sure how to continue. After a few moments of silence he finally settled on, "It was amazing. I can't think of any other way to describe it."

John sighed, "Still, Rodney, you shouldn't have sat in it. It takes a lot from a person to operate the chair, mentally and physically. You could have been seriously hurt by it. You're lucky that you were only rendered unconscious."

"You might not remember us finding you, but when we removed you from the chair you started screaming." Carson told him. "Then just as quickly you stopped and fell unconscious."

"For a moment we thought you'd died, Rodney," whispered Teyla.

Rodney looked at all of them. He did vaguely remember seeing Carson standing above him, but everything after that was a blank. Still, he didn't know why they were so upset. He hadn't been hurt and he hadn't hurt anybody else so he didn't know what the big deal was.

"For the next few days, at least, you won't be able to go exploring unless you have someone with you." John said.

"You mean I'm going to have a babysitter?!" Rodney said, outraged. "I'm seventeen, not seven! So I made one mistake. What's the big deal? I didn't hurt anyone!"

"But you hurt yourself, Rodney!" John shot back.

"Rodney, that is not what he meant." Teyla said calmly, interrupting John from his tirade. "You will not have someone with you all the time. Only when you wish to go explore the city. It is to make sure you do not get hurt again."

Rodney begrudgingly agreed with the terms, though he was sure that meant he wouldn't have any fun until he became an adult again. He turned his attention back to Carson.

"How long do I have to stay here?" He hoped that it wasn't long.

"You're free to go right after I give you one more exam." Carson said grinning.

He shooed John, Teyla and Ronon away from Rodney's bed and closed the curtain around them. Five minutes later Carson proclaimed him to be perfectly fine and allowed John to bring him a change of clothes.

Rodney quickly changed and ran his fingers through his hair, trying to comb out any forming knots. He walked out from behind the privacy curtain and saw his three teammates and Carson waiting for him.

"Make sure you eat a big breakfast and if you feel sick or experience any headaches or dizziness I want you to come back here immediately." Carson said.

"I will," promised Rodney. He saw Carson's skeptic look. "I swear, I will!"

Finally Carson nodded and waved him off with a final, "He's yours," to John, Teyla and Ronon.

As the four walked towards the mess hall Rodney wondered what he would be allowed to do today.

"What am I allowed to do today?" Rodney voiced his thoughts.

"Teyla and I have to catch up on paperwork, and Ronon is teaching a fight class to some of the new marines." John explained. "I'm not sure what Carson and Radek are doing."

Rodney knew that meant he couldn't go exploring since he needed an escort until further notice. He did think that the fight class would be cool to go and see. He might even learn something new.

"Can I go with Ronon?" As soon as the words left his mouth he wished he hadn't said anything. He was sure that Ronon didn't want some kid tagging along. He lifted his head and saw the look Ronon was giving him. "Sorry. Never mind. That was stupid of me to ask."

Ronon placed a hand on Rodney's shoulder, effectively stopping Rodney mid-rant.

"I have no problem with it." Ronon told him.

Rodney gave him a small smile and they continued to the mess hall in silence. They each picked up a tray and grabbed their food and sat down. As John, Teyla and Ronon discussed the mission that Major Lorne's team had left on that morning, Rodney let his thoughts drift to the fight class that he would soon be attending. He wondered if Ronon would let him participate. It had been a while since he'd fought but he still worked out when he had the time. He was startled out of his thoughts when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked behind him and saw Ronon standing there.

"Are you ready?" he asked.

Rodney looked down at his mostly eaten breakfast and nodded. "Yeah. I'm ready."

He followed Ronon out of the mess hall and up to the training room. Once they got there Ronon told him to sit down on the bench while he started setting mats up. Soon after, marines started trickling in. Twenty minutes later, twenty-five or so marines filled the room. Ronon wasted no time in starting the class and quickly began teaching how to disarm an opponent. Rodney sat quietly as he watched Ronon pair up the marines so they could practice with each other.

"Can I give it a try?" Rodney asked Ronon. He looked at some of the younger-looking marines and knew that he wouldn't be able to beat them in a fight but he could sure try.

Ronon looked down at him, as if he wasn't sure what he'd just heard.

Just when Rodney was sure he was going to say no Ronon finally answered, "If you want to, I guess." He looked around the room and seemed to decide something. "Thompson, your going to fight Rodney. Everyone else clear the mats."

Ronon's announcement caused everyone to stop what they were doing and quickly move to the sides of the room. One marine, who he assumed was Thompson, was left standing in the middle of the of the floor. Rodney quickly assessed him. He was a few inches taller then he, around 6'1 or so. He didn't have bulging muscles like some of the other marines did, he was more lean; but Rodney knew that didn't mean he wasn't a strong fighter.

"Fight when you're ready." Ronon instructed.

The two circled each other for a few moments before Thompson made the first move by throwing a quick left jab at Rodney's head. Rodney ducked out of the way and threw a right upper cut to the marine's jaw, which caught Thompson at a glancing blow rather then a direct hit. Thompson, realizing that Rodney knew what he was doing, released a flurry of punches. Rodney was able to duck away from most of them, though a few hit their intended marks.

Years of dealing with bullies and his father had taught him how to avoid people hitting him. Rodney realized that Thompson was no longer holding back and knew he wasn't going to be able to either.

Ronon watched as the two traded punches and kicks with each other. He was surprised at how good Rodney was at fighting. It made him wonder why he had always tried to get out of training sessions, when he was obviously not a bad fighter. Then he saw something that he never thought he would see. Thompson pushed Rodney away slightly and attempted to clothes line him. Rodney saw the move and grabbed Thompson's arm and in a move almost to quick to see, jerked his arm behind his back and rammed his knee into Thompson's right common peroneal nerve. Thompson's right leg gave out on him and he fell to the floor. Rodney kept his arm twisted behind his back and forced him to the ground.

"McKay wins." Ronon called out.

He walked to where Rodney was now helping Thompson up off the ground, as he still hadn't regained full control of his leg. Thompson congratulated Rodney on his win and hobbled back to his friends. Ronon called the training session to an end. He waited until he and Rodney were alone before talking to him.

"That was some good fighting you did out there, Rodney. Where did you learn to fight like that?" inquired Ronon, looking at the teen.

"I'm on the varsity wrestling and ice hockey team. I've had to learn how to fight." Rodney answered. "I never told you that, did I? Or at least my adult self never did?"

Ronon shook his head. "No, he didn't. Come on. Lunch will be starting soon."

As they walked to the mess hall, Ronon explained how Rodney could improve his fighting technique. He clarified what he could have done better during the fight with Thompson and what he did correctly. By the time they reached the mess hall, Rodney started noticing marines glancing at him but when he looked at them they would quickly look away.

They met with John and Teyla after they had gotten their trays. As they sat down, John said something that caused him to nearly drop his tray in surprise. "I heard that you beat Captain Thompson in a fight."

Rodney felt his face heat up, "Y…yeah. I d…did." he stuttered, embarrassed at the sudden attention he was getting.

"Well, tell us all about it!" insisted John as he grinned at Rodney.

Rodney started telling them about what happened between him and Thompson and was soon making expressive hand gestures to go along with the tale. John, Teyla and Ronon all shared a look. They had not seen Rodney this animated in a long time and even those times were few and far between.

"I'm glad you had a good time with Ronon, Rodney," Teyla said with a smile.

Rodney smiled back at her and continued eating while listening to the conversations going on around him. For the first time in a long time, he felt like he belonged. Rodney let out a contented sigh. He could get used to this.

* * *

"I'll see you when you get back," Rodney said to John, Teyla and Ronon.

The three smiled to him and walked through the event horizon. He sighed and discreetly massaged his stomach. It had been hurting since the night before and had slowly been getting sharper as time went by. Rodney was sure that he had simply bruised something because of the fight with Thompson the day before. He told himself that if it wasn't better in a couple of days he would go to Carson. He'd tried eating something for breakfast but had only been able to finish half of it.

"Rodney, can I talk to you in my office?" Elizabeth asked him.

"Yeah, sure." Rodney answered and followed her to her office.

He sat down in one of the chairs in front of her desk while she took her own seat.

"Have I done something wrong?" Rodney asked, worried that she was going to punish him for the chair incident the day before.

"No. I just wanted to talk to you about tomorrow." Elizabeth said.

Rodney looked at her, confused. "What do you mean?"

"The planet that John, Teyla and Ronon have gone to with Major Lorne's team is reported to be inhabited. In light of yesterday's events and after a long talk with Carson and John, if the planet doesn't show signs of being inhabited or of recent wraith activity, then you will be allowed to go off world with them when they return tomorrow." Elizabeth explained.

Rodney couldn't believe what he'd just been told. "Really?" he asked, a grin spreading across his face.

Elizabeth chuckled at Rodney's enthusiasm and nodded. "Yes. Now, remember that you are only going if John says it's safe. If he doesn't, then I'm afraid that you will be staying here."

Rodney nodded, still grinning; even the prospect of him not going couldn't bring his spirits down.

"It's okay. I understand. I have no desire to get the life sucked out of me by space vampires."

Elizabeth shook her head; Rodney had obviously been listening to John's descriptions of the Wraith.

"You're free to go, Rodney. Radek is in his lab if you wanted to go wait there until John, Teyla and Ronon return. I believe Carson is free today also."

Rodney stood up, "Thank you Dr. Weir."

He left the office and leisurely made his way through the corridors. He hoped Carson wasn't busy. He liked talking to the doctor, he never pressured him to talk if he didn't want to and was always willing to listen. Rodney entered the infirmary and walked straight to Carson's office. He saw him sitting behind his computer.

"Hey, Carson."

Carson looked up and motioned him into the office. Rodney stepped in and shut the door behind him. He sat down in a chair and waited for Carson to finish what he was doing. Five minutes later Carson finished and looked up at Rodney with a smile.

"How are ye doing lad?" he asked.

"I'm good. Dr. Weir told me that I'm going off world tomorrow when John and everyone else returns to the planet." Rodney was grinning again.

"Rodney, you're only going if John says it's safe." Carson reminded him.

"Dr. Weir said that the planet was uninhabited, so it's going to be safe."

Carson shook his head. "Not necessarily, Rodney. The Wraith will some times go to uninhabited planets."

Rodney seemed to deflate after he said that. Now the chances of him going off world seemed to have just gotten smaller.

Carson saw this and decided help cheer him up. "Before you go off world though, I need to give you an exam. Why don't we get that done now?"

Carson got up and motioned for Rodney to follow him out into the infirmary. He pointed to a bed and Rodney hopped up onto it. The exam took about an hour and by the end of it Carson told him that he was okay to go if John said he could.

Rodney grinned and Carson watched him race out of the infirmary. Carson rolled his eyes and went back to his office to finish his paper work.

* * *

Here is the next chapter everyone. Sorry it took so long but I posted the last chapter the night before I left the country and I was over there for two weeks. I've been spending the last two months trying to get this chapter right and I finally did it. Also I have a wonderful new beta, SparklesInTheSun, who is helping me with all me stories and I wouldn't be doing this much without her.


	7. Chapter 7

Hey sorry this took so long to get out. I had this nearly done, saved it one night and the next day I open the file and there's a single line of random letters that was once my story. I'm not happy that I lost my chapter. So I had to retype it all from memory and I think I did a fairly adequate job of it.

Big shout out to my beta SparklesInTheSun. Without her this chapter would be littered with mistakes and bad grammar.

Enough ranting. On with the story.

* * *

"You promise to listen to everything I say?"

Rodney rolled his eyes. He'd spent the last hour listening to John explain to him how he was supposed to behave while on the mission. At first it had been helpful but after John had started repeating himself for the second time, it had just gotten annoying.

"Yes John. I promise to listen to what you and everyone else tells me," Rodney said, exasperated.

John smiled sheepishly at him, "I know it doesn't seem like it but it's important that you know all of this."

Rodney nodded before turning around to finish getting ready. He frowned when the pain in his side suddenly gave a sharp spike and he rubbed at it, hoping that it would go away. What had started out as a dull but manageable pain the day before had turned into a sharp, stabbing pain that made walking a little difficult. He'd forced down a few pieces of dry toast and some juice at breakfast, hoping that having eaten something would help but it hadn't, it'd only made him feel nauseous. He knew he should go and see Carson but he didn't want to be told he couldn't go on the mission. Rodney finished getting his tac vest on and turned around to face John.

"So do I look like a member of your team?" Rodney asked with a grin.

John looked up at him and suddenly realized how much he truly missed the adult version of his friend. That wasn't to say that he didn't enjoy having teenage Rodney around because he did. Rodney brought a curiosity and an almost child-like innocence that hadn't been on Atlantis in a long time, if ever. He was pulled from his thoughts by Rodney waving his hand in front of his face.

"You still in there John?" asked Rodney.

John gave a small smile. "Sorry, Rodney. Just thinking. What did you ask?"

"I asked if I look like a member of your team?"

"Yeah Rodney, you do." John told him.

Rodney stood impatiently as he waited for John to finish getting ready. Finally five minutes later, John clipped his P90 to the front of his tac vest. Rodney didn't waste any time and rushed out of the room and down the hall. John had to jog to keep up and couldn't stop the smile that spread across his face. He knew Rodney was excited about going off world but he hadn't realized that he was this excited.

They both reached the Gateroom and Rodney saw Ronon and Teyla standing in the middle of the floor talking to each other. Lorne's team stood a couple feet away and seemed to be quietly discussing the mission amongst themselves. Radek was kneeling in front of a large pack, obviously double checking to make sure he had everything he needed. John told Rodney to go wait with Teyla and Ronon, while he went up to talk with Elizabeth.

"Is Rodney excited to be going?" Elizabeth asked once John got close enough.

Grinning, John answered, "Yeah. He's definitely excited."

"He knows he's supposed to listen to the rules you put down?"

"Yeah, he does. I spent the better part of an hour explaining everything to him."

Elizabeth smiled. "I bet he loved that." She looked down at the waiting teams. "You might want get down there before Rodney comes and drags you himself."

John looked down and saw Rodney staring up at them with an impatient look on his face. John gave her one last grin before hurrying down the stairs and going to stand beside his team. Elizabeth looked at Chuck and signaled to him to begin dialing the planet. She watched as the two teams walked through the gate and hoped that nothing would go wrong.

* * *

When Rodney caught his first glance, he stopped dead in his tracks. The gate was situated in the middle of a large field. Wild flowers were dotted around it. Tall mountains rose up in the far distance, a large forest sitting at the foot of them. About a mile away sat the Ancient ruins they had come here for. He couldn't believe he was on an alien planet for the first time in his life, that he could remember at least. He started walking towards them but was stopped by a hand on his shoulder.

"What did I say about wandering off?" John said sternly.

Rodney gave him a sheepish smile. "Sorry, I got distracted."

"You can't just drift around, Rodney." John told him. "If you want to go exploring, that's fine, but you have to stay within sight of at least one of us."

Rodney smirked at him. "What if I want to go exploring where you can't see me?"

John leveled a sharp look at him, "Don't start that crap right now, Rodney. I allowed you to come on this mission as along as you agreed to listen to the rules I set down. I will send you back to Atlantis if I think you're not taking this seriously. You understand?"

"I understand," Rodney said softly. For the first time since he'd known John, he was actually scared of him.

John glanced at Rodney and saw how nervous he suddenly looked. He knew he'd been a little harsh, but it seemed like the moment he'd stepped out of the gate and saw Rodney walking away, all the trouble that the teen could possible get into had come into his mind. He thought about all of the natural ways Rodney could be injured or killed. And what about the Wraith? Lorne had said that there hadn't been any signs of Wraith coming to the planet ever but that still did little to ease his mind. John turned Rodney so the teen was facing him.

"Rodney, look at me." He waited until Rodney was looking up at him. "I didn't mean to

sound so harsh. I just don't want to see you get hurt. You're my friend, and I just want to make sure that you're safe. If you want to go explore the area around the ruins and we can't see you, I guess that would be okay. As long as you stay in radio contact. Deal?"

Rodney smiled, "Deal."

The two set off to catch up with the rest of the team, who had continued walking towards the ruins. Fifteen minutes later they reached the ruins and Radek immediately started setting up his equipment. Rodney stayed and helped for a few minutes, but quickly realized that the was more of a liability than an asset.

"Hey John, can I go explore the ruins?" Rodney asked.

"Sure," answered John.

Rodney spent the next few hours exploring the ruins. For being ten thousand years old, at least according to Radek, they were mostly still standing. A few columns and walls had toppled and crumbled, respectively. Rodney noticed that many of the columns had writing on them. He traced his fingers over the carvings, mumbling the words out loud as he read them. He didn't even realize that he was doing it or that it should have been impossible for him to read and understand it. He decided not to explore the surrounding area and made his way back to the rest of the group. He had to stop when the pain in his side suddenly flared up causing him to use the wall for support until the pain passed. It took a few minutes before he was able to continue.

He reached the group and was quickly recruited by Radek to help him with the scans. He'd apparently picked up a strange energy reading and was having trouble determining if it was from left behind Ancient Technology or if it was something that was naturally occurring. Radek talked him through what he was supposed to do and he was quickly able to do it by himself. They were interrupted by John an hour or so later.

"It's time for lunch. You'd better hurry before Ronon eats it all." John told them, a smile playing across his lips.

Radek nodded and quickly started shutting down the equipment before hurrying after John. Rodney followed at slightly slower pace, his side suddenly throbbing worse then ever. He walked around a wall and saw everyone sitting on a low laying wall or on a toppled column, about twenty feet away.

He only made it a few feet before a particularly sharp stab of pain caused him to cry out and his legs gave way out from under him. Rodney curled up as tight as he could on the ground, trying in vain to escape the agony. He vaguely heard someone shout his name but was too caught up in the nauseating pain to truly notice.

He felt hands grip his shoulders and try to turn him around. He blinked his eyes open; he hadn't even realized he'd closed them. He looked up and saw John kneeling next to him, everyone else surrounding them.

"Rodney," John said anxiously. "What's wrong? Where does it hurt?"

Rodney looked up at him with tears streaming down his face. "John, it hurts. Make it stop. Please make it stop."

"Rodney, why didn't you tell us you were sick? You wouldn't have been allowed to come."

"I'm s…" The rest of Rodney's apology was interrupted by another cry of pain. He drew his knees up even tighter to his chest, hoping the pain would subside.

Lorne dropped down beside Rodney's side and looked worriedly at CO. "Rodney? Rodney, I need to know where the pain is."

" L-lower r-r-ight side," Rodney stammered.

"How long have you been sick?" John asked.

"Stomach ache started two days ago." Rodney answered softly.

" We need to get him back to Atlantis. Radek, go and radio ahead and tell Elizabeth to have Carson waiting when we get there," ordered John. Lorne sent the rest of his team along with Radek.

Lorne saw how Rodney was holding himself and a sudden, horrid suspicion came into his mind.

"Rodney, you said the pain was in your lower right side?" Lorne asked, worry creeping into his voice.

Rodney nodded, his eyes tightly closed and whimpers of pain escaping his lips.

"Okay Rodney, I'm going to do something but it will probably make the pain worse. Ready?"

Lorne took a deep breath and laid his fingers over the area Rodney had indicated and gently pressed down.

"Does that make it worse?"

"Not…not really."

Lorne looked at John then down at Rodney before he quickly released the pressure. Rodney let out a loud, pain-filled scream. He arched upward, then crashed back to the ground and culled into a tight ball. He was openly sobbing, not caring if they could see him.

John glared at him and Lorne quickly defended his actions, "Sir, I think I know what's wrong with him. I think he has appendicitis."

John's face suddenly paled. He knew what that meant. If they didn't get Rodney back to Atlantis quickly, Rodney was only going to get worse, and possibly die.

"What is appendicitis?" Teyla questioned.

"Appendicitis happens when your appendix, a small organ in the lower right side of your abdomen, becomes infected. If it is not treated quickly it will rupture and the infection will spread throughout abdominal cavity. In some cases it can be deadly," he explained.

John asked Teyla to get the thermometer out of the first aid kit; he wanted to see if Rodney had a fever. She handed it to him and John had Ronon help hold Rodney down. He placed the thermometer under Rodney's tongue and waited thirty seconds until it beeped. He looked down at it and saw that Rodney's temperature was 102.7 and would probably get worse as time passed.

Rodney chose that moment to roll onto his side and began retching harshly. John rubbed his back and whispered to him comfortingly. It took a few minutes before Rodney was finished and John moved him away from the mess.

"Ronon, can you carry him to the gate? The sooner we get him back home, the better."

Ronon nodded and carefully picked Rodney up and held him tightly against his chest. They all hurried as fast as they could, Ronon being careful so as not to jostle Rodney too much. It took them fifteen minutes to reach the gate, when they had to stop because Rodney got sick again.

John radioed ahead to make sure Carson was waiting for them. Elizabeth confirmed that he was and Ronon went through first, quickly followed by everyone else. When John arrived back in the Gateroom, he was met with a flurry of movement going on around him. Rodney was laying on a gurney, curled in the fetal position. Carson was barking orders at his team and before he could say anything, they were rushing out of the Gateroom.

Elizabeth walked over to John before he had the chance to follow Carson.

"What happened out there?" she asked sharply. "When you left this morning he was perfectly fine."

John shook his head, "No, he wasn't. He's been sick for two days. Elizabeth, I think he has appendicitis."

Elizabeth's eyes widened. She knew how dangerous appendicitis could be. She'd had an uncle suffer from it when she'd been a teenager and he'd almost died from the complications. She told Chuck that she would be waiting in the infirmary if anything should happen and followed the remaining three members to the medical ward. They asked a nurse how Rodney was and she told them that Rodney was being prepped for surgery; his appendix had ruptured just as they'd reached the infirmary and Carson wanted to operate as soon as possible. She told them they could wait in the makeshift waiting room and Carson would be out when the surgery was done.

They spent the next few hours waiting for Carson to finish with Rodney's surgery. All were hoping that he would be okay and any complications would be minor. Two hours passed from when they arrived to when Carson walked into the waiting area.

"How is he Carson?" asked John.

"He's being moved into recovery. We weren't able to get to his appendix before it ruptured and he's developed peritonitis. We tried flushing the infection, but it had already set in. He's got a high fever and I hate to say that his stomach pains won't be going away until he gets over the peritonitis. Moving is going to be painful since his abdomen has hardened because of the infection." Carson told them grimly.

"Is he going to…" Teyla left the end of her question hanging, not wanting to put words to everyone's fears.

"I don't know. We caught the peritonitis early but that doesn't guarantee he won't get worse. He's in for rough time, but he's tough and I think he'll pull through," Carson reassured them.

"Can we see him?" John asked.

"Yeah. We've moved him to a private room. We have him sedated so he doesn't tear his stitches or disturb his abdomen."

Carson led them back into the same room Rodney had stayed in after he'd aged into a seventeen year old. Three chairs surrounded the bed. Carson had obviously realized that John, Teyla and Ronon would want to stay with their teammate while he recovered. Rodney was laying quietly on the bed. He was pale and sweaty but at the same time he was shivering with chills. His heart rate was quick but his blood pressure was low. They looked worriedly at each other, none of them wanted to voice their concerns.

"You can stay as long as you want to. Just try not to disturb him too much. I'll be back to check on him in a few hours." Carson checked the machines before quietly retreating from the room.

Elizabeth left shortly after him, saying she needed to get back to the control tower. She asked that they keep her updated if anything happened. John, Teyla and Ronon made themselves as comfortable as they could in the hard plastic chairs and prepared to wait with Rodney for as long as he needed them.

* * *

There we go. We are entering the last stretch of this story. There are only one or two more chapters left, depending on how long I want to drag this out for. Expect at least one more chapter. Until the sequel that is. If you've been reading carefully you'll see that I've been dropping hints about what the sequel will entail plus a little something I'm going to add. I promise it is something that I've read but I've never seen this particular spin be put on it.


	8. Chapter 8

Here it is everyone the last chapter. I can't believe that I've actually been able to finish a story that is longer then 2 chapters. I'm a little surprised that I didn't abandon this 4 chapters ago but I'm very glad that I didn't. I really enjoyed writing this story and I hope that everyone of you enjoyed reading it.

WARNING! - This chapter does have mentions of sexual abuse. I don't go into great detail but I do briefly explain what it is. If this bothers any of you, you can skip over it and it will not affect the story. I don't mean to offend anyone with this type of content. To those of you who didn't read the little AN at the end of the previous chapter, there will be a sequel to this. It will be much longer, between 15-20 chapters. I think. I don't know for sure because I still have to outline it and everything. That won't take all that long. The sequel will be posted within the next two to three weeks. So be on the look out.

Big shout out to my wonderful beta SparklesInTheSun. Without whom this chapter would be filled with mistakes.

Enough rambling. On with the story.

* * *

The following week was one that would be burned into everyone's minds for a very long span of time. The day immediately following Rodney's emergency surgery was arguably the most difficult for the teen. Even though Carson and his team had been able to flush his system early, the peritonitis had made him very sick. He'd spent the entire first three days trapped in a 103.7 degree fever and throwing up anything he tried to eat. Carson had been worried about his hypoglycemia and dehydration. It had finally gotten to the point where Carson had been forced to insert an NG tube into Rodney to feed him. He'd also developed an increased heart rate and lower blood pressure.

The fourth and fifth days had been much the same as the first three, only without the vomiting. His abdomen had continued to be a problem and Carson had explained that until the peritonitis had cleared up it would continue to be stiff and moving would be painful. It wasn't until the sixth day that Carson radioed them with any good news. It was a rare moment that they were away from Rodney's bedside and they had all rushed back to the infirmary to see Rodney for themselves.

Carson met them at the door. "He just woke up. His fever has broken at last and his nausea has finally passed. He isn't totally out of the woods though. His blood pressure is still a little low but it's slowly returning to normal. He's still suffering abdominal distension and pain, and he's obviously very weak. He's out of the danger zone but it'll be awhile until he's released."

"We can see him though, right?" John worried.

"Of course." Carson smiled. "Just don't get him too excited; movement is still difficult for him."

They all nodded and followed Carson back to Rodney's room. The head of Rodney's bed had been raised, allowing him to be in a slightly reclined position. They had to admit that he did look better than he had even hours earlier, not to mention a day before; but by no means did he look healthy. His skin was still paler then was natural and he kept wincing in pain.

"Are you sure he is well?" Teyla asked, looking at her friend in concern.

"Not entirely, but he is doing much better. He'll be happy to see all of you. He wasn't even awake five minutes before he was asking where you all were," Carson reassured.

Ronon took the initiative and was first to enter the room. John, Teyla and Elizabeth were quick to follow.

They all saw how Rodney's face lit up when they entered the room.

"Hey everyone," Rodney said. His voice was rough and raspy, but they knew it was because of the NG tube. "How are you?"

"We are well. How are you though, Rodney? Are you feeling better?" asked Teyla. She grasped Rodney's hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"I still don't feel all that great, but Carson says I'm doing better," Rodney said. He slowly pushed himself a little further up the bed so he wasn't lying flat.

"At least you're improving," Teyla said matter-of-factly. She took a seat in one of the chairs that had been placed at his bedside.

"It's good to see you doing better, Rodney," Ronon grinned.

Rodney gave them a small smile before turning to look at John, who was standing a few feet from his bed.

He could tell that while the older man had a small smile on his lips, his eyes said something completely different. John looked frustrated, relieved, angry, upset and a whole slew of other emotions Rodney couldn't begin to name.

"Teyla, Ronon, I'd like to talk to Rodney alone for a bit. Do you mind?" John asked, barely unrestrained annoyance leaking into his voice.

Teyla and Ronon looked at each other a moment before standing up, giving Rodney their last good byes and leaving Rodney to wonder what John was going to do to him. As soon as the door closed behind them, John walked up and sat down on the bed beside Rodney's legs.

"Before I say anything else, Rodney, let me just say that I'm relieved that you are doing better. For a while we weren't sure if you were going to pull through. Which leads me to what I want to talk to you about." He looked directly into Rodney's eyes. "Why didn't you tell someone that you were feeling sick? Do you realize how dangerous it was for you to be off world when you weren't feeling one-hundred percent? What if the Wraith had come through the gate and attacked us? You would have fallen behind and probably been captured. Rodney, what you did was irresponsible and stupid. You should have come straight to one of us the minute you started to feel sick. You put us all in unnecessary danger! What do you have to say for yourself??" By the end of his rant, John was shouting.

Rodney looked down at his lap, too ashamed to look up at him. Too scared of what John could do to him.

"I never wanted to hurt you. Any of you. I just wanted to go off world so bad, I didn't think about the consequences. I heard all about going off world from you, Teyla, Ronon and Lorne. I just wanted to go through the gate. Please forgive me, John."

John took a deep breath to calm himself down. He knew that getting mad at Rodney would do no good for either of them. He needed to remember that Rodney was still suffering from his father's physical abuse and yelling at him would only bring back unwanted memories.

He reached out and maneuvered Rodney's head so that he could look the teen in the eyes.

"Rodney, I forgive you. I always will. I understand that you wanted to go off world, since you have no memories of doing so as an adult. But it shouldn't have mattered how much you wanted to come with us; you should have gone to Carson the minute you began feeling sick. This whole thing could have been prevented if you had. If you had we would have postponed the mission and waited until you were well enough to come with us."

By the end of John's speech, Rodney was fighting back tears. He knew he'd made a mistake and he wished he could go back and change it. He wiped his hand across his face to dry it.

"I'm sorry," Rodney whispered.

John gave him a small smile and pulled Rodney into a one-armed hug.

"I know you are. Just remember that the next time you feel sick, you tell someone and come directly here. We don't like to see you hurt, Rodney," John admonished slightly.

Rodney leaned into John's side and rested his head back against his shoulder. "The last time I was in the hospital was two years ago, when I had a really bad case of bronchitis. Jeannie was the only one who really came to see me and that was only when she begged our mom to let her. My mom hated the fact that I was in the hospital, not because she actually cared, but because she had to pretend to care. I guess she thought if she didn't the perfect image she maintained would be ruined. My dad, on the other hand, came in only once, just a few hours after I'd been admitted. When I first saw him, I thought for sure he was going to hit me. He didn't, not then at least." Rodney drew in a rattling breath.

John rubbed his arm in a comforting gesture. "It's okay Rodney. Take all the time you need."

Rodney took a few minutes to calm down before he continued, "He threatened me. He said that once I got out I was in for the worst beating of my life. He was right. I stayed in the hospital for almost a week until they finally let me go. I was so scared of being released, I nearly told my nurse what was going to happen."

"Why didn't you?" John interrupted. "You could have been removed from them and not forced to suffer."

"He told me that if I told, no one would believe me. I'd be called a liar and an attention seeking bastard. So I kept quiet. We got home and he wasted no time. He threw me down onto the floor and began kicking me and hitting me with his belt." Rodney didn't even try to fight the tears this time and just let them fall. "I didn't think it would ever end. I'd have done anything to make the pain to stop. I thought I was dying. Everything after that initial beating is difficult to remember; all I can remember is that it was hours before he finally stopped beating me…"

By the end of his tale Rodney was sobbing into John's shoulder. John pulled him into a comforting hug and mumbled soothing nonsense to him. Five minutes later, Rodney had calmed down enough so John could extract himself from Rodney.

"Rodney, you didn't deserve to be treated like that. No one does. You were only fifteen, you couldn't have stopped it. I wish you didn't have to go through what you did," John whispered. "It's not fair that all of this bad stuff happened to you, but you have to learn to accept it and put it behind you."

Rodney gazed up at John, eyes bright with honesty and unshed tears. "I don't know if I can."

John grabbed Rodney's hand and gave it a squeeze. "You have to try, Rodney. Don't do it for me, Carson,

Teyla, Ronon or anyone else. Do it for yourself. All you have to do is try."

Rodney nodded, "I'll try."

John beamed slightly. "Thank you. I'm going to go and let you get some rest. Bye Rodney."

Rodney smiled at him, "Bye John."

* * *

Rodney was released the next day with one stipulation: he was confined to a wheelchair, so he wouldn't aggravate his side. When he tried to argue with Carson, John had put a stop to it by saying that he could simply stay in the infirmary a few days longer. Rodney had quickly ceased disputing and accepted Carson's instructions silently. Carson reassured him that it was only for a day or two and then he would be able to walk around. He'd been embarrassed when Ronon had come in and lifted him into the wheelchair. Rodney had blushed beet red and mumbled that he would have been able to lift himself into the chair, but Ronon had brushed him off.

At first Rodney had wondered how he was supposed to get around the city, but John had been one step ahead of him; he'd made sure that the transporters would be able to get Rodney to wherever he would want to go.

"You ready to get out of here?" John asked, smiling down at Rodney.

Carson rested his hand on Rodney's shoulder. "Don't over do it. And let John and Ronon help you if you need it."

"Don't worry, Carson. We won't let him." John said, grabbing the handles. "Come on Rodney, lets go get some breakfast."

"That sounds good. See you later, Carson." Rodney waved as he was wheeled out of the infirmary.

The trip to the commissary was surprisingly quick, even with the extra transporter trips. When they entered, Rodney was immediately bombarded with well wishes from people he'd never met before but assumed he knew as an adult. John filled up Rodney's tray for him and carried both Rodney's and his own outside, where Ronon and Teyla were waiting for them. Rodney slowly maneuvered himself outside and placed himself at the end of the table. He accepted his tray from John with a soft thank-you and slowly began to eat.

"How are you feeling this morning, Rodney?" asked Teyla.

"Much better. But it still hurts to move around, hence the wheelchair Carson is making me use. I'm just glad to be out of the infirmary. I was going to go stir crazy cooped up in there," Rodney admitted.

Teyla shared an amused look with John and Ronon before turning back to Rodney. "I'm glad that you are feeling well again, Rodney. My people will be pleased to hear that as well," Teyla informed him.

Rodney's hand halted halfway to his mouth. He wasn't sure what to make of the fact that the Athosians were worried about him. He'd only been to the mainland two or three times that he could recall and even then it was only for a few hours. Rodney mumbled a quiet thank-you and went back to his breakfast.

After breakfast, Rodney asked what they planned to do and Teyla explained that until Carson okayed him to move around, he would be taking it easy. As such, Rodney spent most of the first day playing a variety of board and card games in the rec room with John, Teyla and Ronon. Despite not being able to explore Atlantis, Rodney surprisingly didn't grow bored with the games. When they moved onto the card games, Rodney kicked their collective butts in poker; he had the perfect poker face, and John promised to get Rodney to play once he was an adult again.

*The Next Day*

Rodney walked happily out of the infirmary, for what he hoped was the last time. He'd been told, well more like ordered, to return to the infirmary the night before. Carson said he wanted to watch Rodney for one more night and then he'd be free to go. That moment had finally come and as much as Rodney liked Carson, he was glad to be out of the infirmary. He walked through the halls, destination: the Control Tower. Or more specifically, Elizabeth's office. He hadn't seen her in nearly a week and wanted to see how she was doing.

He walked into the Control Tower and made his way to Elizabeth's office. He looked through the glass windows and saw her sitting behind her desk, working on her laptop. He knocked on the door jam and waited for Elizabeth to notice his presence.

She looked up and smiled when she saw him. She stood, walked over to him and pulled him into a gentle hug. Rodney stiffened slightly before he melted into the hug and returned it.

"It's good to see you up and about, Rodney," Elizabeth said.

She put an arm around his shoulders and led him to one of the chairs that sat in front of her desk. He sat down and she walked around to sit in her chair.

"Carson told me you were released yesterday, but confined to a wheelchair. He said that you were doing better, but I want to hear from you about how you're doing."

Rodney smiled. "I'm doing better. I can walk around with almost no pain. Twisting and bending are still a little painful but it's getting better every day."

"I'm glad. I'm sorry for not coming to see you sooner; there was a small problem that needed my attention and took longer then I thought it would to settle," explained Elizabeth.

Rodney shrugged it off and said nonchalantly, "It's alright. I figured something had come up. I'm sorry about what happened."

Elizabeth sighed. She knew she'd have to talk to him about what had happened, but hadn't been sure how to broach the topic.

"I know that John has already talked to you about this, so I'm not going to lecture you on your decision; but I want to reiterate how dangerous it was for you to go off world. If it had been any other planet, John might not have been able to get you back in time," Elizabeth chided gently.

Rodney looked away, properly chastised. Somehow, having Elizabeth disappointed in him was worse then

John being disappointed.

"I'm sorry. I really am. Look, on the bright side, at least this won't happen again," Rodney said, in an attempt to relieve some tension.

Elizabeth shook her head in bemusement, trying and failing to hide her smile. "You should probably head down to the labs and see Radek, he's been worried about you."

Rodney stood up and left with a promise that he'd see her later. He made his way to the closest transporter and pushed the dot nearest the labs. He waited for the door to open and walked down the hallway until he reached Radek's lab. The doors slid open as he neared and he walked in, looking around the large room until he saw Radek sitting in front of a laptop, diligently working on something. Rodney walked closer to him and was careful not to make too much noise. He sat down on a stool opposite of Radek and waited patiently for him to finish whatever it was that he needed to do. Five minutes later, Radek looked up and seemed surprised to see Rodney sitting across from him.

"Rodney," he said, surprised. "I didn't notice you were there. Why didn't you say something?"

Rodney shrugged. "You looked busy, so I decided to wait for you to finish."

"You are looking better. How do you feel?" Radek asked. He looked his friend up and down, searching for any sign that he was not as well as he appeared.

"I'm fine. Feeling better then I was a few days ago. Still hurts to bend or twist but I can walk, at least." Rodney said, looking at the other scientist. "Carson says that I should be completely healed in a few weeks."

"I am glad to hear that. You had everyone very worried," Radek said, a deep frown set on his face.

"I know what I did was stupid, John and Elizabeth have already talked to me about it. I should have told Carson the minute I started feeling off but I usually just keep things like that to myself. It's usually not anything to serious. That and I really wanted to go off world."

Radek rolled his eyes. "I prefer to stay in the labs. Safer."

"If you say so," he paused slightly before continuing. "Radek, if I ask you something, will you be completely honest with me?"

Radek hesitated before questioning, "What do you want to ask?"

"How do I become an adult again? Nobody's bothered to explain to me how I become an adult. I can't really remember what happened the last two times I've aged, or I wouldn't even be asking, but I need to know."

Radek looked surprised. Honestly, he wasn't sure how to begin. Finally, after a few minutes of silence, Radek answered him.

"I can't tell you how to go about becoming an adult again, Rodney, but I can tell you what the research says. According to the tests the Ancients did with the machine, to become an adult once again, you will have to accept the physical abuse you suffered," Radek explained.

Rodney looked at him, dumbfounded, "How the hell am I supposed to do that??? So I just go, 'Well my dad beat the shit out of me but I forgive him for it and can now move on.' I don't think so." His expression changed to angry disbelief. "How do I just accept something like that? He beat me nearly everyday for years. I will never be able to forgive him for that," he thundered.

Rodney turned and stalked out of the room. He walked through the halls aimlessly, not paying attention to where he was going. He didn't care where he ended up, as long as it was away from everyone. He couldn't believe he had to forgive his dad for what he did. There was no way in hell that was going to happen. Ever. He'd had to put up with everything that man had done to him for over six years. Ever since his father had first slapped him a few weeks before his thirteenth birthday, until just a few weeks prior when his dad had taken his belt to his back. He was pulled from his thought when he felt a light breeze rustle his hair. He looked at his surroundings and was surprised to find himself standing outside, looking out at one of the large arms of the city. He glanced back at the doors leading back to the city and then back out at the arm of the city.

'If they want to find me, they'll just have to start searching.' Rodney thought vindictively.

He walked out across the arm and couldn't help but look up at the towers that rose up behind him. He'd seen skyscrapers before, but these towers made even the tallest skyscraper seem like a house in comparison. He kept walking until he was at the edge of the arm; there, he sat down and stared into the vast ocean in front of him.

He tried thinking about anything other then what Radek had told him, but he couldn't stop his thoughts from returning to it. He wasn't sure how he was supposed to just accept what had been done to him. Was he supposed to act like it had never happened and just forget about it? Because if he was, then he'd just have to learn to live with being a teenager again because that wasn't going to happen.

Rodney wasn't sure how long he'd sat there before he heard the sound of people coming up behind. He looked over his shoulder and saw John, Teyla and Ronon walking towards him. He turned back towards the water and steadfastly ignored them as they made themselves comfortable around him. They all sat in silence for a while until John finally broke it.

"Radek told us what you asked him…You want to tell us what he said to make you so upset?" asked John.

"What does it matter? I'm not going to do it, so you all should just forget about me ever being an adult again," Rodney said with defiant finality.

John, Teyla, and Ronon all shared a look, not quite understanding where Rodney was coming from.

"What do you mean Rodney?" Teyla asked softly as she put her hand on his arm.

"Radek told me what I had to do to become an adult again. I have to forgive my dad for what he did to me. I have to forgive him for all of the abuse that I suffered. All of the times he beat me senseless." Rodney stood up suddenly and began pacing. "You can just forget about it because that is never going to happen. Why didn't you ever tell me that I had to do something like that?? That I would have to forgive that asshole for what he put me through, every single day?!" By the end of his tirade he was shouting.

John stood up and walked over to him until he was standing right in front of Rodney.

"Rodney, you have it all wrong. You ran out before Radek got the chance to fully explain what you need to do. You don't have to forgive your dad for what he did. None of us expect you to. All you have to do is realize that the abuse wasn't your fault. You couldn't have done anything to stop it. You just have to understand that the abuse doesn't define who you are."

Rodney remained silent. Of course there was something more to it. His friends would never leave him to suffer like that. His eyes filled with tears that he refused to let fall. His resolve wavered as John saw this and pulled Rodney into a hug; he felt Rodney's tears soaking his shoulder. Rodney's legs seemed to give out from underneath him, and John held him as they sunk slowly to the ground. Ronon and Teyla came over and sat down beside them, offering Rodney their silent support.

Hundreds of thoughts were rushing through Rodney's head; memories of his dad hitting him, his mom shouting at him, his parents' blatant favoritism of Jeannie. They were mixed in with memories of his time on Atlantis. Playing soccer on the mainland, learning about the Stargate with Radek and Lorne, flying the Jumper, connecting with Atlantis, going off world. The conflicting thoughts kept coming, causing his head to begin hurting.

He tried to slow the thoughts down, but it was no use; the onslaught raged on. He remembered all the times he was in the infirmary; how someone was always with him, making sure he was never alone. The times when his dad would begin to hit him because he didn't like the supposed 'tone' that Rodney took with him.

It wasn't my fault, it wasn't my fault, Rodney repeated in his head. It was never my fault. I couldn't have done anything to stop him. John's right; just because I was abused doesn't mean I have to let it define who I am. It wasn't my fault.

"That's right Rodney. It wasn't your fault," Teyla whispered in his ear. "Nothing that happened to you is your fault."

Rodney, who had nearly been out of tears, couldn't help but start up again. He felt someone's hand comfortingly rub up and down his back, while another ran through his hair. This was the first time he could remember someone truly taking time to comfort him. It took another few minutes for him to calm down and by then he'd exhausted himself out and laid limply against John's shoulder. He closed his eyes, hoping that it would help alleviate his quickly worsening headache.

"You okay, Rodney?" John asked, worry filtering into his voice.

Rodney shook his head slowly. "Not really." His voice was just barely above a whisper.

He felt someone put their hand on his forehead, but didn't open his eyes to see who it belonged to.

"You feel a little warm. Let's get you up to Carson and have him check you out," John said.

Rodney opened his eyes a little, and with John and Ronon's help, stood up. They slowly made their way back towards the city. Teyla radioed ahead and told Carson what to expect. They reached the infirmary and Carson directed them to help Rodney up onto an out-of-the-way bed. He quickly shooed them out of the infirmary and went to work on examining Rodney.

--One Hour Later--

Carson walked out into the waiting area where John, Teyla and Ronon were sitting.

"Before you ask, Rodney will be fine. I think he's finally entered what is hopefully going to be the last aging process. He's sleeping, but just in case, I've given him a light sedative just to make sure he'll sleep through the rest of the day. I've also hooked him up to a some IVs that will keep his body hydrated and to help his hypoglycemia," Carson explained.

"How long will this take?" asked Ronon.

"A day, maybe two. Not quiet sure. The database wasn't very clear on that. It will take longer this time because he has to assimilate all of the new memories he's gained," answered Carson. "We should begin seeing noticeable changes within a few hours. By then it will be clear whether or not he will continue aging or if he's going to have an even bigger hurdle to overcome."

"What exactly could Rodney go through next?" asked Teyla. "You mentioned something about a fourth type of abuse, but never said exactly what it was. Is Rodney going to go through that?"

"I hope not," John muttered, looking in the direction he knew Rodney's bed was.

(A/N. You might want to skip this part.)

Carson pulled up a chair and began to explain why they were so worried about Rodney. "You see, most people will divide up abuse into four types. The first is neglect. Generally, neglect is that hardest form of abuse to identify because it is hard to tell when a parent or caregiver is being neglectful. Usually they are considered such when there is a failure to provide the child with adequate food, clothing, shelter and inattention to the child's needs for affection."

"This is what Rodney was experiencing when he was eight," Ronon stated.

Carson nodded, "Yeah. The second is emotional or verbal abuse. Constant belittling, shaming, humiliating a child, calling them names and negative comparisons to others are all forms of emotional or verbal abuse. Rodney clearly experienced this type of abuse when he was aged to a twelve year old. The third is physical abuse. I don't believe that I need to explain that one. The fourth type of abuse is the type that no parent ever wants their child to suffer. Sexual abuse is when an adult touches the child in an inappropriate way or forces the child into sexual situations."

(A/N. Worst part is over.)

Teyla's horrified expression betrayed her thoughts of what her friend could have gone through and might still go through. Ronon looked thoroughly disgusted.

"We had people like that on Sateda. If the accusations proved to be true, they were killed," Ronon said slightly forcefully.

"What are the chances that Rodney will suffer that, Carson?" asked John.

"It's hard to say. He never talks about his past much. We'll just have to wait and see how things turn out."

"Can we go in and sit with him?" asked Teyla.

"Right now is not a good time. I want to keep the number of visitors down to a minimum until we can figure out exactly what direction Rodney is going to take." Carson saw them about to protest and put his hands up to quell them. "Give it about six hours, and then come back. By then, we should be able to determine exactly where we are going to have to go from there."

John stood up, followed immediately by Teyla and Ronon. "We'll come back in six hours, then. Radio us if anything changes before then. We'll go tell Elizabeth what's going on."

Carson watched them walk out of sight before turning and walking back into the infirmary. He had a patient to look in on and he had to prepare for any and all possibilities. Not for the first time since arriving on Atlantis, he hoped that all of his preparations would end up being unnecessary.

* * *

A little over six hours later, John, Teyla and Ronon returned to the infirmary, waiting anxiously for news from Carson. They watched him walk out of a familiar door that led to a room that they had all become annoyingly familiar with in the past month.

"So, Carson, what's the verdict?" John asked anxiously, raking Carson's face for any hint of what they should expect.

"He looks to be around 22 or 23, so I think it's safe to say that our worries were for nothing. At the rate he's aging, he should be back to his old self sometime tomorrow evening," Carson said with a grin.

"Can we go sit with him?" Ronon asked, looking almost fretfully at the door separating him from his teammate and friend.

Carson nodded and led them over to the door. He opened it and allowed them to go in first before he followed, shutting the door behind him. He saw them staring at Rodney in surprise. Where a thin, gangly teen had lain before, a handsome man had now replaced him. The three newcomers were surprised at how totally different Rodney looked then they had been accustomed to.

A seventeen-year-old Rodney had been thin but with a surprising amount of muscle hidden on him. With shaggy hair that was constantly obstructing his vision, they'd had a hard time equating him to the Rodney they all knew. This Rodney was nearly a complete opposite. In six hours he'd filled out and gained muscles that none had really seen on him before. His hair was still long and looked like it would still obstruct his eyesight. They pulled chairs up beside his bed and sat down to wait the changes out.

* * *

The next thirty-two hours were some of the longest John could remember having to go through. It was also the strangest. The three of them barely moved from their seats besides Rodney's bedside and because of that, they were able to watch as his body slowly changed in front of them. The whole thing looked painful but Carson had assured them that Rodney wasn't suffering from any pain, but to err on the side of caution, Carson kept him sedated through out the whole thing. Nearly thirty-six hours after Rodney had first begun to change, Carson stopped the sedatives, and Rodney began to come around.

Carson shooed everyone out of the room; he didn't want Rodney to become overwhelmed right after everything he'd just gone through. He watched as Rodney's eyelids fluttered briefly for a moment before they finally cracked open.

Rodney's gaze roamed around the room until his eyes settled on Carson.

" C..C'rs'n?" rasped Rodney, his voice barely a whisper. He grimaced at the sound of his voice.

" Yeah, Rodney, it's me," Carson smiled gently at him. He picked up a cup of water and held the straw to his lips. " Here this should help."

Rodney began to drink greedily and glared angrily at Carson when the man took it away.

Carson grinned at him. "Too much, and you'll end up making yourself sick and I don't think either one of us wants that."

"How long have I been here?" asked Rodney, his voice thankfully clearer then before.

"You've only been asleep about thirty-six hours or so. John, Teyla and Ronon brought you up here yesterday," Carson explained. He checked Rodney over before asking, "Do you remember what's been happening?"

Rodney didn't answer right away. He was still trying to sort all of the memories from the past month. It was weird; he could clearly remember spending his whole childhood on Earth but at the same time he remembered spending time on Atlantis. He remembered spending time with John, Teyla and Ronon. Playing soccer on the mainland. Ronon, John and Teyla comforting him after a nightmare. Them sitting with him in the infirmary. Memories kept coming to the forefront of his mind and he easily put them into order.

"Rodney," prompted Carson. "Do you remember what happened?"

"Yeah, Carson, I remember what happened. All of it," Rodney finally answered.

"If you're feeling up to it, there're some people outside that want to make sure you're okay. Can they come in?"

Rodney pushed himself up, but Carson told him to stay down and raised the head of the bed so he was sitting up that way.

"I want you to take it easy for right now," Carson reprimanded him. "I'll go get them."

Rodney laid back and closed his eyes. He took the reprieve and wondered how he was going to face everyone now. It was bad enough that they had seen him as a kid, but they knew about his abusive past. That had been one thing he'd worked so hard to keep hidden from people. It had been easy to do, as long as he acted like an abrasive, arrogant asshole. Not only did his team know about his past, but so did Radek, Elizabeth and Major Lorne. Of all the people he didn't want to know about his past, Elizabeth was definitely number one on that list.

He was pulled from his thoughts when the door opened and his team walked in. Rodney watched them as they found places to sit around his bed. There were a few minutes of awkward silence before Teyla decided to speak up.

"How are doing, Rodney?" Teyla asked cautiously.

Rodney hesitated briefly before answering, "I'm doing fine."

"Carson says that you remember everything that's happened," John said, giving Rodney an unreadable look.

"Yeah, I remember. Thanks, by the way, for sticking by me through all of it. I know I wasn't always easy to handle." Rodney said, embarrassed.

"Nonsense, Rodney. You were a wonderful child," Teyla said with a smile.

Ronon nodded in agreement, "Yeah, Rodney. You were a good teenager. How come you never told us you could fight?"

Rodney blushed slightly. "I haven't worked out like that in years. I kept in pretty good shape up until I got to area 51. A scientist that worked for me said I was just trying to relive my glory days. After that I just stopped going to the gym. Didn't see that point in keeping in shape if I was just going to spend my days in a lab. I get the feeling that won't work for me anymore."

John grinned at him. "You would be correct. Once Carson clears you, Ronon, Teyla and I are going to get you back into shape."

Rodney groaned. "I won't be able to get out of this, will I?"

Ronon grinned dangerously at him, "Not a chance, my friend."

Rodney leaned back into his pillows and closed his eyes. _My life is going to become a living hell_, he thought.

* * *

Rodney leaned up against the balcony and looked out across the sparkling lights of the city. He'd been released from Carson's clutches the day before, with strict instructions to take it easy. He wasn't allowed to go near his lab for another two weeks. He'd be seeing Kate three times a week for the next four weeks, and if she okayed it, he'd be able to return to the field. John had said that they wouldn't start his training until Carson gave the okay. He heard the doors slide open behind him, and looked over his shoulder to watch Elizabeth walk towards him.

"Hey," he said, once she was standing beside him.

"How long have been standing out here?" she asked.

Rodney shrugged. "A few hours. I'm still trying to get my head around everything."

"You went through something that not many people have ever, or will ever, go through. It will take awhile for you to assimilate everything that you went through."

"How do I face everyone? Everybody knows about my past now. How do I expect them to take me seriously when they've seen me as a kid?" Rodney hung his head, trying to figure out how he was going to make everything work.

Elizabeth put a comforting hand on his shoulder. "The general population of Atlantis doesn't know about your past Rodney. They only know that you had a run in with an Ancient machine and that to safely return you to adulthood it had to be done in stages. No one but your team, Radek, Lorne, Carson, Kate and myself know about the abuse you suffered."

"What about when Teyla found me unconscious that one day? How did you keep people from finding out then?" Rodney retorted. " I'm sure some of the nurses know about me to."

"You're right. A few of the nurses do know about the abuse you suffered. To answer your question about how we kept people from finding out after you collapsed was, Teyla radioed Carson immediately and he and his team were able to take the transporter to your location. You may or may not remember, but you collapsed only a few feet from the transporter," explained Elizabeth.

"That's good, at least," said Rodney.

"You should go get some rest, Rodney. It's late, and Carson said for you to take it easy. Staying up at all hours of the night is not conducive to getting you back on your team," Elizabeth reprimanded.

Rodney grinned and pushed away from the railing. "I got it. I'll see you in the morning. Hopefully, Carson will change his mind and let me back on light duty. I want to make sure that those idiots that the SGC keep sending me haven't completely destroyed the labs. Night, Elizabeth."

Elizabeth watched him walk away and wondered exactly what changes would be happening within the next few weeks. She followed her own advice a few minutes later.

* * *

--Rodney's Room--

Rodney walked into his room and made sure to lock the door so no one could disturb him before he woke up on his own. He quickly changed into a pair of sweats and an old t-shirt. He sat down at his desk and booted up his laptop. Radek had told him that he'd emailed project updates for him to look over on the many different projects (over twenty-five in counting) currently going on and Rodney needed to check them all over. That number didn't include the ten projects that had been completed while he'd hadn't been himself. It would take a few more days to get all of his notes back to Radek, but he was making steady process.

Two hours after he first sat down, his stomach began grumbling and he looked around and saw a power bar sitting just out of reach his bedside table. He really wished that the stupid thing would just come to him without him having to get up. He pushed his chair away from the desk when he felt something land on the floor in front of his feet. He looked down and saw the power bar sitting innocently at his feet. He looked quickly from his power bar-free bedside table to the bar now sitting at his feet. He blinked, reached down to pick it up, and when his fingertips hovered a few inches above it, it jumped into his hand.

His eyes widened almost comically as his brain tried to process what had just happened.

Rodney dropped the power bar down on his desk next to his computer. This couldn't be happening- again.

"Carson's going to kill me," he mumbled decisively.

THE END.

* * *

Authors Note-

There it is the final chapter of this story. What's going to happen next? Well to find that out your going to have to read the sequel. Keep a look out for it. I hope to have the first couple of chapters outlined by Christmas and have the first chapter up by the first of the year. Keep your fingers crossed and we'll see if it actually happens.

I'm also proud to say that this is the first story that lasted more then two chapter that I've actually been able to complete. Let's see if I can do that for my other two on-going stories.

Thanks again for sticking with me through the whole thing and THANK YOU for all of the wonderful reviews. They kept me going through the whole story. Any and all flames were used to roast marshmallows.


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